Health: Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom...

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 58 266

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By Beackers675 - 10/05/2022 02:00

Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 104

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 4 974

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 18:57 - United States

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 007

You deserved it 7 030

By Erin - 10/05/2016 02:18 - United States - Springfield

Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 465

You deserved it 1 283

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 147

You deserved it 42 309

By Ferniferousfern - 20/08/2018 18:30

Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 151

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 4 962

By ThunderThighs - 23/07/2014 23:24 - United States - Flemington

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 184

You deserved it 20 462

By tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 2 625

By Mary - 05/03/2019 18:00

Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 041

You deserved it 1 390

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 16:16

Diet. Gastric Bypass. Tummy Tuck. Gym. Something! D: and how the **** do you crack a porcelain seat like that? my God. :3

Sue21 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 16:14

wow

Comments

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 21:52

My toilet seat is porcelain..As are 90% of the one's I've seen. :D

xFenix81x 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 22:01

Hell, I broke a bench once. I only weigh 170.

hawaiianxpunchx3 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 22:19

wow do all you think that all fat people are lazy assholes? no. its not easy to go on a diet and drop weight. it doesnt ****** happen immediatly and takes a shitload of will power.

bloodyhell9398 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 22:35

we dont need to hear about you wiping your fat ass

skullet 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 22:48

dude... STOP EEEEAAAATTTTIIIINNNNGGGG.

skullbuster 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 22:54

I do want to ask why everyone cares so much about the health of the obese people you are so quick to mock? One minute people are typing "lose weight fatty" and the next minute there is some diatribe about obesity being a leading cause of this health problem or that. WTF? Are we trying to pretend that making fun of some fat person's misfortune has anything to do with our concern for their health?!?! That having been said, does this OP have ******* blinders on? When you come on a site like this and say I'm so fat I cracked the seat when I went to wipe my ass, I'm not sure what kind of response you are looking for!? Are we supposed to call Richard Simmons and cry together or something? There is such a thing as inviting ridicule and this is one of those times... And maybe that is the point, because my BULLSHIT DETECTOR is going full-on right now. His nickname is "Fattypatty", why didn't he type "youpeoplearegullible" instead?

BLNovelist 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 22:55

Wow, your life is ******. She may not be as overweight as you'd think from this - I've seen plenty of toilet seats that would crack and break if you move your weight to an enough extreme. :/ Some are flimsy as hell.

fenrisulfr 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:12

well, if that really happened, you are fat in a health-endangering level, go see some doctors to come up with personalized diets and exercising series... no need to build up a perceft body, just a healthier one.

boredboisereside_fml 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:14

Heh. At least I'm not the only one!

tronner 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:18

I didn't know we had a doctor commenting on FMLs. I mean I know we have a bunch of lawyers and experts on everything else, but I didn't know we had a doctor. Welcome, doctor!