Miscellaneous: Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt....

By yum yogurt - 30/10/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 445

You deserved it 17 138

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Same thing different taste

By GogurtBadass - 18/09/2013 16:55 - United States - Olympia

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 656

You deserved it 5 362

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 223

Fight Club

By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 306

You deserved it 7 808

By Bad at life - 18/10/2018 13:30

Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 079

You deserved it 612

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 032

You deserved it 5 237

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

By LostInSunday - 15/08/2016 08:11

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 264

You deserved it 2 792

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 758

You deserved it 73 886

By Dipping Tired - 20/04/2016 23:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 750

You deserved it 7 180

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 929

You deserved it 12 963

boredblonde 17

Sunday 30 October 2011 23:48

definitely worth it, gogurts are the best!

DrOfTheInternet 6

Sunday 30 October 2011 23:51

Fruit punch?

Comments

Logan033_fml 2

Monday 31 October 2011 0:26

You deserved it. Only little kids should eat that crap.

MisterMuffinz 13

Monday 31 October 2011 0:30

Have fun giving handies... :X

lilemmy55 10

Monday 31 October 2011 0:31

My dad has done that xD

bridgit5 1

Monday 31 October 2011 0:31

Have done that a number of times haha

icic6772 0

Monday 31 October 2011 0:41

That's why they made those rolling tube things.

thatgirlyesii 0

Monday 31 October 2011 0:44

ive soooooo been their i hit my nose :(

thatgirlyesii 0

Monday 31 October 2011 0:44

ive soooooo been their i hit my nose :(

pfx2_fml 15

Monday 31 October 2011 0:51

You just fail at life

bubblepaarty 5

Monday 31 October 2011 0:52

how did you even do that ?

iloveantonino 0

Monday 31 October 2011 0:52

I have done this

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The Top

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 247

You deserved it 7 781

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 426

The Top

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 384

You deserved it 5 706

Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway." He then patted my ass and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 136

You deserved it 4 667

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 930

You deserved it 3 326

Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 034

You deserved it 626

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 303

You deserved it 3 420

Today, I gave birth to my first born child. Somehow, my mom and mother in law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother in law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 541

You deserved it 1 094