Intimacy: Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really...

By anonymous - 07/06/2009 06:18 - Korea Republic of

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 375

You deserved it 25 666

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 564

You deserved it 24 312

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 470

You deserved it 2 801

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 413

You deserved it 38 882

By anon - 20/12/2016 23:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 779

You deserved it 2 896

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 114

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2021 10:59

Today, my kids did not tell me the AC guy was here. I got up and went to the restroom in my bra and underwear, and the AC guy was standing in the bathroom. Our AC unit is downstairs, so both me and the AC guy were shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 624

You deserved it 4 155

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 147

You deserved it 91 465

Classic lineup

By Phoellie - 28/08/2009 11:43 - United Kingdom

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 284

You deserved it 5 223

By jo - 20/02/2010 10:47 - United States

Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrives. As we were going at it, he shits on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 486

You deserved it 6 078

Helldozer 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:19

YDI for bringing random people into your apartment, *****.

breakthesky 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:14

Haha um...

Comments

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 22:47

EPIC YDI for bringing drunken strangers home and sleeping in their company. You're ridiculously lucky, you might as well have woken up to find him raping you, murdering you, or your empty appartment after he stole all your crap. Let's not even talk about all the nasty diseases you must have with such a promiscuous lifestyle.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 22:50

#22 fyi, one-night stands are best at hotels, where you know the guy won't run off with more than your wallet, and might hesitate to rape or murder you if there's cameras filming who enters and exists the rooms. And even then, I'd advise to know the guy for a bit longer than "just met at a bar". Not because I'm a nun, but because I have a brain, and it's got magical little functions such as knowing about rapists and STDs. Which you apparently seem to ignore.

TheMongoose333 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 23:23

I feel the need to point out that this very well could have been an FML from a guy. Gay people do exist you know.

prog1 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 23:33

#23. Hahah. well said

BlazeVendetta 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 23:37

BWHAHAHA ******* OWNED

MissFortune_fml 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 23:41

Why do people always act surprised when random people they invite to their homes based on their looks and a couple hours worth of conversation do weird and destructive things :s