Health: Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 962

You deserved it 3 118

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Same thing different taste

By aragmir - 18/12/2016 06:10 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 697

You deserved it 2 869

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 796

You deserved it 12 740

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 459

You deserved it 4 927

Fit as a fiddle

By Anonymous - 09/07/2018 20:30

Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes, and my son had to call an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 005

You deserved it 422

By Ashley J. - 01/03/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 280

You deserved it 17 528

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 363

You deserved it 271

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 931

You deserved it 6 047

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 5 795

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 549

You deserved it 2 547

Easy mistake

By helper - 01/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 668

You deserved it 34 820

Next

Top comments

BadDay98 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

I guess in this case laughter isn't the best medicine

jsni2132 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

Well, I guess the joke was to die for. All jokes aside, that sucks, OP. Hope the guy is ok!

Comments

Carlitosfmc 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 13:30

Now I want to know what the joke was :S

Ninjamonkey901 4

Thursday 4 June 2015 14:09

I guess that's some pretty dark humour

SadSouthernBell 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 16:06

It must have been SOME joke.

Hop6e 22

Thursday 4 June 2015 18:04

I don't think I could ever may another joke after that. Care to share the joke? Really am sorry though, hope everything is okay now. And just so you know, it was NOT your fault!

TheIronFez 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 18:50

Oh jeez. Did you find out if he was ok? If so, good. And the fact that he laughed that hard means you're funny to him, so don't put this on yourself.

TheIronFez 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 19:02

You are a massive asshole.

Rkikkas9713 25

Thursday 4 June 2015 19:24

I'm really curious what the joke was.

TheBossBryson 11

Thursday 4 June 2015 19:29

Is he okay?

alex_jaguara 31

Thursday 4 June 2015 23:22

Don't feel guilty, OP. People get old. One day we all are going to experience some elder's difficulties.

jennlody 28

Thursday 4 June 2015 23:23

This reminds me of my Sims 4 game.. one guy walked into the house and fell on the floor laughing and literally died of laughter. All while my other sim was stuck outside as they didn't know how to enter a closed door. I seriously hate that game. OP, I hope he's alright, either way it's not your fault for trying to cheer him up.

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The Top

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 74

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 264

You deserved it 2 123

The Top

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 553

You deserved it 4 922

Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 527

You deserved it 1 073

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 459

You deserved it 4 804

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 469

You deserved it 47 616

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 987

You deserved it 2 036

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 885

You deserved it 3 833