Work: Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing...

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 823

You deserved it 3 906

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By imaginationdarling - 13/05/2014 23:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 484

You deserved it 7 257

Perv'

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 14:00

Today, someone tried to rob my boss's store and I had a knife held to my neck. That’s not the FML. The FML is that, for some reason, it excited me and I got a boner. The thief told me I was all kinds of messed up and left without stealing anything. My god, I’m some kind of freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 230

By ohcrap - 02/06/2011 10:05 - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 249

You deserved it 36 381

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 576

You deserved it 6 950

By Thanks dicks - 07/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 727

You deserved it 363

By Creepster - 13/01/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 587

You deserved it 50 922

By AlexK - 18/06/2009 23:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 169

You deserved it 65 361

By SoMuchForThatIdea - 12/06/2017 00:00

Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 927

You deserved it 890

Join the club

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 22:56 - United States - Montpelier

Today, for the first time in 8 months, I got laid and it was amazing. Unfortunately, it's kicked my latent sex drive into hyperdrive. Best part? No idea when I might have sex again, so apparently I just have to live with being ragingly horny for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 399

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 052

You deserved it 4 614

joeyl2008 29

Wednesday 6 January 2016 23:58

You need hookers. lots of hookers

Tripartita 44

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:01

It doesn't matter what you do OP, they will NEVER love you the way you love them! Trust me… On an unrelated note, I'd advise you to look up the word "agalmatophilia".

Comments

gabe67 13

Thursday 7 January 2016 2:35

two words . BEAT. OFF.

Distantsoul 8

Thursday 7 January 2016 3:00

Job satisfaction

frumpledforskin 2

Thursday 7 January 2016 4:19

AScooterman 12

Thursday 7 January 2016 4:42

Call the happy ending massage parlor

west546 13

Thursday 7 January 2016 5:38

Its aight OP just get yourself a pair of compressions

dracolich 27

Thursday 7 January 2016 5:56

Open up your favorite **** site and give yourself some care. You're the one responsible for your sexual health.

mercyelvira42 23

Thursday 7 January 2016 7:52

Just wait until closing time when the most beautiful mannequin will come to life and make all of your sexual desires come to fruition. You don't happen to work with a black flamboyant window decorator named Hollywood, do you?