Work: Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing...

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 823

You deserved it 3 906

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Same thing different taste

By imaginationdarling - 13/05/2014 23:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 484

You deserved it 7 257

Perv'

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 14:00

Today, someone tried to rob my boss's store and I had a knife held to my neck. That’s not the FML. The FML is that, for some reason, it excited me and I got a boner. The thief told me I was all kinds of messed up and left without stealing anything. My god, I’m some kind of freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 230

By ohcrap - 02/06/2011 10:05 - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 249

You deserved it 36 381

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 576

You deserved it 6 950

By Thanks dicks - 07/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 727

You deserved it 363

By Creepster - 13/01/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 587

You deserved it 50 922

By AlexK - 18/06/2009 23:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 169

You deserved it 65 361

By SoMuchForThatIdea - 12/06/2017 00:00

Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 927

You deserved it 890

Join the club

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 22:56 - United States - Montpelier

Today, for the first time in 8 months, I got laid and it was amazing. Unfortunately, it's kicked my latent sex drive into hyperdrive. Best part? No idea when I might have sex again, so apparently I just have to live with being ragingly horny for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 399

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 052

You deserved it 4 614

joeyl2008 29

Wednesday 6 January 2016 23:58

You need hookers. lots of hookers

Tripartita 44

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:01

It doesn't matter what you do OP, they will NEVER love you the way you love them! Trust me… On an unrelated note, I'd advise you to look up the word "agalmatophilia".

Comments

colder13 10

Thursday 7 January 2016 17:57

I know desk jobs are boring, but stop undressing your girlfriend at work. in fact, stop bringing her to work with you.

c_wyld 21

Thursday 7 January 2016 19:37

But was the mannequin hot?

adamduhhh 7

Thursday 7 January 2016 20:21

did anybody ever see that movie called mannequin. where it came to life and the dude ****** the mannequin lol

Mysterious_one 26

Friday 8 January 2016 18:49

Skout bro..

justelizabeth 12

Sunday 10 January 2016 6:59

can't say I blame you. some of those mannequins are pretty sexy.

CandyApple88 13

Saturday 16 January 2016 2:21

Qatar? Don't you have 4 wives?

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The Top

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

The Top

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 276

You deserved it 30 934

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 303

You deserved it 3 154

Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 437

You deserved it 8 103

Today, I was promoted to vice president of my company. I gave a speech explaining how I intended to run things more transparently. When I bent down to pick up my folder, my pants split. Somebody said, "Powerpuff girls panties. Transparent indeed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 283

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from underground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls, only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 006

You deserved it 24 680

Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 559

You deserved it 10 925

Same thing different taste

Perv'

Join the club

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