Health: Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

By Anonymous - 26/04/2011 13:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 178

You deserved it 51 630

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Same thing different taste

By idefka - 08/04/2017 02:00

Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 510

You deserved it 1 850

By Holly - 05/02/2010 07:33 - United States

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 776

You deserved it 35 264

Liar !

By Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 1 262

By ThunderThighs - 23/07/2014 23:24 - United States - Flemington

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 183

You deserved it 20 462

By Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 703

You deserved it 13 867

Cheat day

By Hungry - 03/09/2019 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I conveniently "forgot" to write down a bunch of stuff, including a huge kebab, in my Weight Watchers food journal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 2 154

By LP - 15/06/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, my mom accused me of having an eating disorder, and I didn't correct her. Truth is, I lost weight after I went off the pill a year ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that I haven't had anyone in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 941

You deserved it 7 580

By mattlikesfunions - 18/07/2016 18:56 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 737

You deserved it 1 234

Desks are so judgmental these days!

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was promptly told to lose weight today by my computer desk when it broke under the weight of my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 607

By Anonymous - 15/06/2010 19:31 - United States

Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 177

You deserved it 22 458

shithappens2memo 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 19:22

why? who else reads it?

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Tuesday 26 April 2011 19:36

she's cheating on her diary with a sexy little journal.

Comments

Livinia 11

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:15

You can either keep on lying about it or you can actually get of your fat ass and start exercising and eating healthily.

mollieOdare 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 21:19

What if OP is too skinny? It said nowhere in the post that she was overweight. Maybe she needs to GAIN weight. She could be insecure about being too thin. But don't assume. It makes you look like an ass.

tweetbaby14 18

Wednesday 27 April 2011 3:52

73, I've never heard of a thin person ever complaining about being too thin. don't assume it makes you look like an ass( sound familiar?).

justsomgirl 4

Wednesday 27 April 2011 21:16

73 wasn't assuming. she made a valid point and gave an alternative possibility. you failed at putting her down. well done.

dustinkershaw 0

Friday 29 April 2011 21:04

What an ass.

notbanned69 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:18

You lied to us too. That's not a diary. It's fiction.

fmltiligothigh 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:22

you're only lying to yourself, and if you have a weight problem you should do something besides lie about it.

chanma 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:23

oh no  your diary is gonna be mad at you

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:23

The diary will be pissed when it finds out you lied.

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:23

The diary will be pissed when it finds out you lied.

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:23

The diary will be pissed when it finds out you lied.

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:23

The diary will be pissed when it finds out you lied.

IrishSoulja 4

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:24

And today was the day that i was thinking of the fml where someone lied to their treadmill about their weight, coincedince?

FreebirdIII 1

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:28

Don't worry, it still believes you actually did have sex that one time.

drewgreenan 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 20:59

I like this^ just so you know I like to have sex too!!! hahaha

alex1432 9

Tuesday 26 April 2011 21:35

most people do 66

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The Top

Today, after work, I was saying goodbye to my last remaining friend I worked with because she was going to be leaving for college. My manager saw me talking and made me clock back in and work, because, "If you have time to talk, you have time to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 642

You deserved it 1 249

Today, my sister is furious with me and said i will never see my nieces again. Last weekend, while I babysat for her, I taught them the meaning of veganism and animal rights, even showing them a few videos about the meat and dairy industry, and how the animals are kept and treated. Now she won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 3 507

The Top

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 068

You deserved it 6 960

Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 545

You deserved it 5 479

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 2 690

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 218

You deserved it 4 320

Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 373

You deserved it 4 223

Today, I came across the word "pegging". Not knowing what it meant, I googled it and got a very graphic explanation. Seconds later, I realised that the webpage URL actually included the sexual nature of the meaning. The IT department have logs of every page we visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 282

You deserved it 8 370

Same thing different taste

Liar !

Cheat day

Desks are so judgmental these days!

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