Transportation: Today, I learned that you should always make sure the car is...

By Ellen - 21/11/2009 00:56 - United States

Today, I learned that you should always make sure the car is in 'park' before you get it on wildly in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 269

You deserved it 30 368

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By CassieMarieee - 10/12/2011 06:28 - United States

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 029

You deserved it 8 817

By tandc - 01/05/2012 05:07 - United States

Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 367

You deserved it 27 994

Goddammit

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 02:20 - United States

Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I thought it would be easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 320

You deserved it 31 916

By Anonymous - 15/04/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 223

You deserved it 72 627

Chasing cars

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 08:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to parallel park my car in a tight spot. After several failed attempts, I finally parked, but then realized I had parked on a slight incline. My car started rolling backwards. I had to chase it down the street in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 894

By El Stupido - 12/06/2011 13:51 - Australia

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 193

You deserved it 58 430

By hatemylifelol - 08/01/2016 20:33 - United States - Roseville

Today, I noticed I parked behind a boy I like. Trying to impress him with my driving skills, I ended up forgetting to put the car in reverse and rear-ended him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 219

You deserved it 20 854

Ohhh, wham bam thank you ma'am

By gagus123 - 28/10/2021 02:00 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I accidentally left the handbrake off in my car, got out, locked it, and started walking away. Then I heard a loud noise and looked over my shoulder and the car was gone. Of course, it hit the only other car parked in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 928

By holly10350 - 14/10/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to practice driving in my car. As she began to let the car roll forward, she looked at me and very seriously asked, "Brakes is the right pedal, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 009

You deserved it 30 034

By whoneedsdumbcars - 14/08/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 387

You deserved it 39 714

tropicthunder 3

Saturday 21 November 2009 19:49

So you guys had a real sex drive

Sk8trlover19 3

Wednesday 29 August 2012 20:35

That's common sense, hope you learned from that cuz that's dangerous

Comments

Jagger117 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 17:43

#1 assumes everyone in the world is a lazy ass and owns an automatic. idiot. and op ydi for being a dumbass, I hope you rolled into a ditch

iheartjustinsane 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 19:20

Ahaha YDI!

Standupboi 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 21:48

you stole this from secret girlfriend!!

bexox 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 5:27

People watch that show?

moonlit_manga 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 23:06

stupidity Is a choice, choose wisely.

joemk2012 0

Wednesday 25 November 2009 3:28

uh, yes?

Danceswithsmurfs 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 6:16

and getting it on wildly in your car is bad how?

blackwidowtaco 31

Friday 30 August 2013 7:13

If the car is in motion while both passengers are as well, it's certainly not going to be a happy ending.

Alchemist919 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 1:56

yep, i recognize this from the show secret girlfriend!

captivate17 0

Saturday 5 February 2011 2:10

lol this happened to me once too. scary as shit!

sammy259 3

Tuesday 29 March 2011 2:12

that just makes it more fun imagine cumming on her face while flying down a hill at 60 miles an hour

mhinaj 0

Thursday 5 May 2011 0:07

no duh r u stupid?

Keywords

Love Awkward Students Relatable Work Racism Cheating Health Relationship advice Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats Boredom Animals Management Sexism Kids Parenting Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Facebook Social Media

The Top

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 882

You deserved it 4 896

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 469

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 317

You deserved it 7 606

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 781

You deserved it 6 878

Today, I went out for drinks to mark the end of my current job. I invited all my colleagues to join me so I could say goodbye to them all. I even changed the date to a day that suited more people and the location to a place I knew they all preferred. Only one person showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 647

You deserved it 1 445

Today, my girlfriend came home and spontaneously wanted to have sex for the first time in about a year. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and had just came from an AA meeting. She reeked of alcohol, I couldn't get hard because of it, and she got pissed at me. She says she won't be spontaneous again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 739

You deserved it 2 402

Same thing different taste

Goddammit

Chasing cars

Ohhh, wham bam thank you ma'am

Top comments

Comments