Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella,...

By Anonymous - 27/02/2014 14:34 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 050

You deserved it 61 190

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Same thing different taste

By bobby - 12/06/2010 22:13 - United States

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 762

You deserved it 62 515

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 344

You deserved it 29 683

By fmyarse - 22/07/2012 22:45 - United Kingdom - Blairgowrie

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 593

You deserved it 48 893

By jamisbetter - 11/04/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 896

You deserved it 18 962

Sounds… lovely?

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, by being clumsy when putting my bread slices on a plate, I invented a sensational new type of sandwich: The Nutella-Salmon-Garlic Double-Decker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 390

By diorlove - 21/01/2010 22:17 - France

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 546

You deserved it 4 926

By novaguy - 24/02/2015 16:15 - United States

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 769

You deserved it 2 542

By Leigha - 02/01/2012 02:14 - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 205

You deserved it 50 151

Not a sponsored post

By nutfreak - 12/08/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 603

You deserved it 3 629

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 480

Readoll 13

Thursday 27 February 2014 18:50

Absolutely stupid... YDI

HowieDoIt 21

Thursday 27 February 2014 18:54

Much sharper than OP, I'm guessing.

Comments

ahraea 9

Friday 28 February 2014 7:22

No ******* shit.

Curlytwirly22 17

Friday 28 February 2014 8:03

You don't deserve it but that wasn't the brightest thing to do OP are you ok now ?

nancy_ydg17 11

Friday 28 February 2014 8:14

nutella is nasty as shit

SuperStormCindy 8

Friday 28 February 2014 8:24

YDI #1 for eating that nasty crap and #2 for being desperate and disgusting. Smh.

tompou6 19

Friday 28 February 2014 13:08

Brilliant OP just brilliant

gabagabaheyu 10

Friday 28 February 2014 13:55

you dont have to stick it all the way in

Meepson 9

Friday 28 February 2014 17:38

At what point in your thought process did you feel that was a good idea.

siggy_mcsigx 22

Friday 28 February 2014 17:47

Erm.........next time TURN THE KNIFE SIDEWAYS, DIPSHIT.

monagro 22

Friday 28 February 2014 19:16

At least you can deep throat...

operator47 10

Friday 28 February 2014 19:16

You dirty girl...

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The Top

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 181

You deserved it 7 311

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 610

You deserved it 12 679

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 073

You deserved it 50 504

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 774

You deserved it 91 801

Today, my mother went out of her way to, over completely trivial bullshit, wake me up early on the only two days of the week I don’t have to wake up at 4:30AM, drive an hour both ways, and work my fingers to the bone for twelve hours straight. This is why I’m so soul-shreddingly desperate to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 118

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 100

You deserved it 16 249

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at dinner, which would’ve been nice if we hadn’t been dating for only two months, and dinner was at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 150

Same thing different taste

Sounds… lovely?

Not a sponsored post

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