Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella,... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/02/2014 14:34 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 050

You deserved it 61 190

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Same thing different taste

By bobby - 12/06/2010 22:13 - United States

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 762

You deserved it 62 515

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 344

You deserved it 29 683

By fmyarse - 22/07/2012 22:45 - United Kingdom - Blairgowrie

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 593

You deserved it 48 893

By jamisbetter - 11/04/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 896

You deserved it 18 962

Sounds… lovely?

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, by being clumsy when putting my bread slices on a plate, I invented a sensational new type of sandwich: The Nutella-Salmon-Garlic Double-Decker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 390

By diorlove - 21/01/2010 22:17 - France

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 546

You deserved it 4 926

By novaguy - 24/02/2015 16:15 - United States

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 769

You deserved it 2 542

By Leigha - 02/01/2012 02:14 - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 205

You deserved it 50 151

Not a sponsored post

By nutfreak - 12/08/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 603

You deserved it 3 629

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 480

Next

Top comments

Readoll 13

Thursday 27 February 2014 18:50

Absolutely stupid... YDI

HowieDoIt 21

Thursday 27 February 2014 18:54

Much sharper than OP, I'm guessing.

Comments

minimii 11

Friday 28 February 2014 2:06

You deserved that on so many levels

Easybeats 10

Friday 28 February 2014 2:56

Practicing for next time?

pcgwm 13

Friday 28 February 2014 3:59

Well duhhhhhhhh! Dummy anyways

Baller_Bob 17

Friday 28 February 2014 4:08

Dumbass

597mph 10

Friday 28 February 2014 4:49

You're kidding, right?

jryan2 16

Friday 28 February 2014 5:11

Its always worth deepthroating the knife if there is nutella on it

Obito_Uchiha651 17

Friday 28 February 2014 5:54

Couldn't you use a spoon? Assuming you we're not spreading it on bread

AlexRen 21

Friday 28 February 2014 5:56

Aw, you could've had a Bf. That girl was turned down in her fml, because she didn't deep throat. You could have been in. It was stupid that you deep throated a knife, even if it's something you like. You could have easily just put it on something else and ate it from there. YDI

deathrowdiesel 2

Friday 28 February 2014 6:21

It a knife even if its a butter knife real smart dumbass

ExiledRemixx 13

Friday 28 February 2014 7:04

Theirs your sign. -face palm-

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The Top

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 224

You deserved it 6 618

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

The Top

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 997

You deserved it 8 348

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 027

You deserved it 13 961

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I agree, your life sucks 22 867

You deserved it 2 562

Today, after my wife and and her family often complained about refugees around town and never donated a cent, even blaming a church fire on them, I thought they were just stingy and racist, but now they're donating and even offering their spare houses to refugees from Ukraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 267

Today, I found several thongs in the dryer that my wife has never worn before, purchased just days before she is going on vacation with her girlfriends. Serves me right for folding the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 222

Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 1 398