Love: Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up,...

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 362

You deserved it 6 198

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Same thing different taste

By RightInTheFace - 12/09/2015 16:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 571

You deserved it 1 884

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 00:36 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 674

You deserved it 3 093

Night terrors

By scared shitless - 24/06/2020 08:02

Today, I learned the hard way that my girlfriend’s young daughter sleepwalks. I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, only to be greeted in the dimly lit hallway by her creepy silhouette. I yelped like a bitch and dropped the glass on my foot, breaking two toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 748

You deserved it 325

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 708

You deserved it 26 834

Public freakout time

By camzzz - 02/07/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 195

You deserved it 47 767

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 816

You deserved it 7 800

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 567

You deserved it 6 876

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 978

You deserved it 7 499

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 655

You deserved it 3 295

By Jebus - 24/01/2009 16:07 - Canada

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 115

You deserved it 34 773

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 22 January 2014 12:18

You just have to prove to her that she is sleepwalking. Afterwards you can blame her for almost everything.

naxeeb 33

Wednesday 22 January 2014 12:19

Not saying that it's the case here, but she could easily have done that and blamed it on sleep walking! o_o

Comments

murdersquirrel 15

Friday 24 January 2014 0:27

Dance of the Sugar Plum Smashers

channelmonica 17

Friday 24 January 2014 5:25

Well. Could it be possible that maybe she wasn't sleep walking and that she she was pissed you were playing video games over being in bed with her? Sure, you may have not deserved the crotch shot, but this could be a giant hint.

cchuckcloninger 5

Friday 24 January 2014 6:06

But I bet you do, dontcha?

MrJayshemar 3

Friday 24 January 2014 17:00

of course she didnt remember. are you sure she was sleep walking

Shnoowie 9

Wednesday 12 February 2014 14:16

As a sleepwalker, I can confirm that it is quite easy to do things and not realise! Having said that, stepping on someone's crotch is rather...different.

The_Mad_Writer 3

Tuesday 15 April 2014 9:14

Lol at least I woke up to discover I was giving a hand job to my boyfriend ;)

TallMist 32

Sunday 20 April 2014 21:31

Yeah, cause guys can't have hobbies in a relationship. He has to pay attention to his girlfriend 24/7, even when she's sleeping, or else he's an ignoring, inattentive, selfish asshole! /s

Fayre95 4

Wednesday 21 May 2014 3:26

LOL

InsanityShard 23

Thursday 16 February 2017 9:11

I sleep walk when I'm really tired and something tries to wake me up. Apparently one time I walked out of my bedroom and just kept sorta slowly spinning in a circle for 10 minutes before going back to bed. Somehow I slept through a tornado going down my street, 2 earthquakes, and a gun though...