Miscellaneous: Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting...

By Anonymous - 30/08/2010 10:34 - Oman

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 383

You deserved it 37 272

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Same thing different taste

By alliez108 - 18/11/2011 00:50 - United States

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 900

You deserved it 7 735

By Connor - 25/12/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 053

You deserved it 2 642

By wintersoldier - 14/07/2015 02:36 - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 054

You deserved it 2 369

By BlazefireSaber - 07/07/2015 03:59 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 519

You deserved it 2 989

By Disappointed - 31/10/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 9 816

By ROLLY - 03/03/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 538

You deserved it 3 919

By Anonymous - 21/08/2011 19:48 - United States

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 567

You deserved it 3 408

You went too far

By Dia - 02/05/2021 05:01

Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 2 185

Patsy

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 12:00

Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 151

By toothbreaker - 21/08/2019 16:00

Today, I was wrestling with my boyfriend when I accidentally kneed him in the chin and chipped his front tooth. I broke his real tooth, as well as the fake part from when he chipped it ten years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 274

perdix 29

Monday 30 August 2010 16:07

You, sir, are a wimp. I'm not sure you are ready for solid food -- ask Momma to pop out her titty for you.

remy3106 10

Monday 30 August 2010 16:03

u must have really wanted that cookie?!

Comments

Murcie 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 2:17

What kind of cookies where they??

katieebug 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 2:29

ydi for fighting a 14 year old for a cookie...

boredoutofwits 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 3:24

I know how you feel. I'm an older sister too and my bro recently went through puberty. It had to happen sometime. My parents kept telling me it would.

pamQueS 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 5:10

it must've been a good cookie

angel55033 12

Wednesday 1 September 2010 9:51

that's just pathetic

Sunaku_fml 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 10:11

OH GAWD *dies laughing*

J3NG33HU 6

Thursday 2 September 2010 1:44

omg . that's awesome ! :D

ItsPlaid 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 20:22

H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S

w0w23 0

Friday 3 September 2010 7:35

im the only one awake at home at 2 a.m. i read this and laughd so bad everyone in my house woke up. im in the basement. hahh

thelastjedi 0

Friday 3 September 2010 22:02

what does that tell you ?

Keywords

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Today, I've known for a while that my cat can sense when I'm not feeling good, as she gets more clingy than usual. I've been a bit under the weather as of late, not really sick, but just a little off, and she keeps meowing nonstop and refuses to leave me alone for any reason whatsoever. I'm honestly very concerned now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 97

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 132

You deserved it 5 885

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Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 537

You deserved it 5 815

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 143

You deserved it 52 416

Today, I was getting ready for work. When I stepped back, my ankle rolled and my fat ass landed on it with my foot sideways under me. Now I’m in a boot for 6 weeks and have 6 weeks of physical therapy ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 176

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 126

You deserved it 533

Today I went to a much-anticipated job interview. I've been out of work for a month and I really need and wanted this job. I then realized that yesterday's hike was not a good idea when a tick crawled across my forehead in the middle of the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 167

Today, I confronted my ex-employer about the money he owes me. He'd said he would pay me $3000. He asked me if I had it in writing. I said no. He said, “Well, too bad for you. No leg to stand on.” Then, in a cringey Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!” and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 103

Same thing different taste

You went too far

Patsy

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