Animals: Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was...

By poopEVERYWHERE - 18/09/2009 14:27 - United States

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 957

You deserved it 4 333

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 654

You deserved it 295

Almost there, we're almost there…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 088

You deserved it 3 059

By typical - 13/04/2013 23:49 - United States - Cheshire

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 242

You deserved it 4 154

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 334

Help!

By ukfan - 06/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 556

You deserved it 5 079

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 163

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 2 839

Hurting over here

By wo-ow - 06/06/2014 23:09 - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 337

You deserved it 4 329

Ilovelife07 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:09

best username

riplikethat 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:05

"I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned... blah blah blah" No shit.

Comments

Carreau_fml 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:34

Thats ******* hot.

2345_fml 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:37

YDI for having hardwood floors that allow you to slip in the poop.

catatonicsleep 17

Friday 18 September 2009 22:47

better than having a carpet, much easier to clean....

Cheekers1989 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:50

LMAO! That's hilarious, but I do feel sorry for you. That really does suck!

aebleskiver 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:15

*massive* YDI for sucking dick at words

Pun_Intended 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:29

Is anyone here reminded of Dumb and Dumberer (yes, the prequel)? Bob Saget's character goes berserk: "There's shit EVERYWHERE!!"

cucumberfabulous 7

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:54

Hahahahhaahahhahha YES!

Intoxicunt 5

Saturday 19 September 2009 1:43

That's more like it. ;)

monkeycaca69 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 2:15

you should of pulled your pants down and taken a fat shit on him to seal the deal.

nanners224 5

Saturday 19 September 2009 2:56

it's a shit 'n slide lol so gross FYL

aaaaa12345_fml 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 3:21

why was your first thought that he was having a heart attack?

Liriiaell 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 3:36

Why on earth did you think he was having a heart attack? Force of habit? Heart problems in the family?

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Birthday Abuse Relatable Money Social Media Scams Education Parents Kids School Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Bikes Cops Family Fight Gross Work Customers

The Top

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 8

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 130

You deserved it 5 932

The Top

Today, I told my husband that I missed how exciting it was when we were dating, so he pretended to sneak into my room through the window, we had sex, then fell asleep. All very exciting. Then the bastard actually snuck out while I was still asleep, and didn’t call me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 419

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 313

You deserved it 414

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 570

You deserved it 14 239

Today, in an attempt to lower my stress and anxiety, I tried out an anti-stress coloring page on my phone. I couldn't get the color to evenly fill inside the lines and it stressed me out even more, to the point where I started crying at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 126

You deserved it 3 762