Love: Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 025

You deserved it 5 095

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Same thing different taste

Rash beard

By Rashbeard - 05/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 804

You deserved it 437

By UnhappyLips - 16/12/2016 09:43

Today, the lip balms I ordered online finally arrived in the mail. After trying one out, my lips had an allergic reaction. It's a 4-pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 842

You deserved it 1 027

By Anonymous - 08/03/2010 14:35 - United States

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 653

You deserved it 3 001

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 346

You deserved it 3 262

Chapped out

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 09:28 - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 081

You deserved it 2 521

By goo - 10/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 654

You deserved it 1 124

Bad, so bad

By Anonymous - 14/11/2015 07:20 - United States

Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 905

You deserved it 2 334

By PissyPants - 20/06/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 222

You deserved it 29 340

By jacobscrackers - 01/08/2010 18:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 909

You deserved it 5 873

By rhunter17 - 06/04/2015 19:38

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 837

You deserved it 10 584

Next

Top comments

MzMegs 20

Sunday 20 March 2011 7:39

Ouch. :( Poor guy.

trickkemhard 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 7:46

yuuummmm, sounds like he got a TASTY treat. bet it tasted like honey..from the hive. *ba-dum-ching*

Comments

TrueTexan 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 8:40

cute story for the kids ;D

boomsupersonic 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 8:43

Awweh, that sucks for both of you. I hope everything works out between you two! FYL, honey.

laurbear12 3

Sunday 20 March 2011 8:55

maybe he had an allergic reaction to you, not the chapstick haha

bossybella 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 9:15

sucks

GravyGuy 11

Sunday 20 March 2011 9:43

Well look at the bright side OP, at least you got your first kiss! :)

Pretty_reckless_fml 18

Sunday 20 March 2011 10:22

^ :L errr random much?

Ranger16266 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 10:47

Genuine failblog material. Go there!

UnprecendentedAw 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 12:04

Bummer. Better to find out giving him a kiss than a bj.

Human_Delilah 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 12:08

D': Poor Guy, Let's Hope he Doesnt get mad at You.*-*

laden_swallow09 34

Sunday 20 March 2011 12:24

Not random -- #9's screenname is iHeartBacon, a disambiguation of iPhone, iPod, or more accurately, iHeartRadio. #32 merely shared her love for bacon with #9. And now that I had to explain it, it defeats the humor. BTW, bacon DOES make everything better! Juss sayin.

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The Top

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 360

You deserved it 61 103

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 947

You deserved it 28 262

The Top

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 213

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 377

You deserved it 5 026

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 583

You deserved it 9 051

Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 389

You deserved it 544

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 878

You deserved it 17 006

Today, I had my first interview. Everything was going well until I made him repeat his name numerous times, as I couldn't understand what he was saying due to his thick accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 028

You deserved it 1 256