Love: Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a...

By haappynewyear - 01/01/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 992

You deserved it 6 091

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 697

You deserved it 13 774

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 193

You deserved it 587

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 855

You deserved it 55 498

By knobbed - 27/01/2014 23:09 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 922

You deserved it 4 883

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 734

You deserved it 44 790

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - 24/08/2020 07:02 - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting 2 holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 99

Smashing awakening

By charapos - 06/02/2022 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 220

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 566

You deserved it 11 400

Worst party ever

By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 4 023

By ahuman - 29/09/2013 05:10 - United States

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 759

You deserved it 9 764

mahimalil 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 6:28

☆。★。☆。★ 。☆ 。☆。☆ ★。＼｜／。★ Happy New Year! ★。／｜＼。★ 。☆。。☆。 ☆。 ★。 ☆

SmokyMcBong 1

Saturday 1 January 2011 6:18

well atleast u can make up a bad ass story about what could have happened to ur eye haha

Comments

Tycholarfero 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:03

FOREVER ALONE.

pedroiaman15 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:10

YDI for pointing it straight at your face dumbass!

HateyMcHater 4

Monday 3 January 2011 1:55

I am confused. if you were already home, where did you "leave" to?

rudikk99 2

Monday 3 January 2011 2:36

looser! looser! with both left hands!!! inexperienced looser! u would get the 2nd prize even on looser contest !!!!

CumShott 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 4:46

You're an ass, and cant even spell loser correctly. Stfu.

New0001 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 4:28

what are you, 12? learn to spell.

_IHeartMusic_ 4

Monday 3 January 2011 4:27

Woot.

New0001 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 4:25

That's why you aim the cork away from your face, knucklehead

Doublefine 2

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:45

OP, don't let these kids that can't spell get to you. They're just douchebags that have nothing better to do then make fun of people on FML.

lovaofsoftball98 12

Monday 6 April 2015 15:43

At least no one saw it

Keywords

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The Top

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You deserved it 3 759

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I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 532

So destructive, but so cute!

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 102

Today, a boy I'm not even dating took it upon himself to tell me that we would never work out. Via text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 494

You deserved it 2 477

Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 200

You deserved it 5 597

Today, I've got the worst eczema I've had in 25 years. It's spread to the worst possible spot: right where my thighs touch when I walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 805

You deserved it 875