Miscellaneous: Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails.... - FML

By crazyvulva9216 - 27/01/2009 01:17 - United States

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 829

You deserved it 68 915

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Same thing different taste

By anditburnsburnsburns - 27/08/2013 18:13 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 290

You deserved it 20 768

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 20:53 - United States

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 430

You deserved it 61 476

By WeldedShut - 03/03/2017 18:00

Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 779

You deserved it 8 254

On the runs

By coloneltushfinger - 12/06/2019 16:00

Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 618

You deserved it 363

Taint

By PaintedBum - 11/03/2019 18:00

Today, I was painting the bathroom door post. A drop of paint fell on the toilet roll. Guess how I found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 013

You deserved it 389

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 025

You deserved it 54 335

By ew - 03/08/2014 18:49 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 541

You deserved it 49 960

By nicki - 14/11/2010 17:18 - United States

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 447

You deserved it 8 125

Own it

By psychortiz - 03/06/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 610

You deserved it 16 708

By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 312

You deserved it 8 359

Next

Top comments

rayray206 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 7:39

did you do a shitty job on your nails? oh how i love puns

GlamorusKaos 1

Wednesday 4 February 2009 10:55

Lmao .... thats funny as hell

Comments

esklstar 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 5:28

haha just thinking about something like that is sooo funny hhahahaha good luck with that!!

WhyworldWhy 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 12:30

way to think that one through next time think before you do something...wait you can only do that if you have a brain. did I piss you off great now go prove you have a brain.

3LeafClover 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 13:18

LMAO!

sammichbitch 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 3:44

This is such bullshit. No nail polish takes 30 minutes to dry.

its_me_123 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 1:27

30 minutes?! what kind of nail polish do you have that it takes that long to dry?!!!

skitzoyd 0

Sunday 28 March 2010 3:03

Shouldve painted ur toenails instead

iwanina 0

Tuesday 30 March 2010 0:13

oh that sucks... it happened to me once

NoWayLady 13

Wednesday 31 March 2010 6:10

ha if u did wipe ur nails would be brown or maybe yellow! and YDI

TheNomNomRaptor 0

Saturday 10 July 2010 3:20

Haha! How do you get that bored while pooping?

FML4Rachel 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 4:59

that is hilarious! (:

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I agree, your life sucks 38 662

You deserved it 5 300

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I agree, your life sucks 59 289

You deserved it 3 430