Kids: Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked...

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 19:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 625

You deserved it 9 524

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 04:16 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 612

You deserved it 6 845

By fatteningmeup - 26/05/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 414

You deserved it 3 787

Sorry sweaty

By Tori - 05/02/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I discovered a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods in my house. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer, except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 547

You deserved it 8 370

By Jumja - 15/01/2010 11:37 - Netherlands

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 202

You deserved it 5 708

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 497

You deserved it 1 642

Dietitian is the recognized title

By fatty mcfatfuck - 24/06/2020 02:02

Today, I caught my mother-in-law filling my one-year-old's cup with Dr. Pepper. When I flipped out, she told me I was overreacting since "all her kids turned out fine." Save for my husband, all her kids are morbidly obese diabetics who’ve struggled with poor diets. She herself is almost 450 lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 012

You deserved it 129

By DeepFriedLettuce - 29/04/2016 01:33 - United States - Vashon

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 442

You deserved it 1 518

By JadedBaker - 08/07/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 080

You deserved it 1 992

By Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood - 09/12/2013 05:52 - United States - West Bend

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 750

You deserved it 7 901

**** your "beach body" noise

By that’s not how it works - 16/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 110

amandathecreator 22

Sunday 9 June 2013 2:51

I think she's confused with cooking food to kill bacteria ! Hahahah she's needs to take a nutrition class , poor girl

SirTalkaton 22

Sunday 9 June 2013 2:55

We have the cure for obesity, just bake everything! Hooray!

Comments

ipodtouchgirl 21

Sunday 9 June 2013 4:26

She's half right. When you cook using alcohol it burns off in the cooking process, but leaves behind the flavor.

soylentgreens 8

Sunday 9 June 2013 10:34

That is complete nonsense, while it is true that alcohol evaporates during the cooking process, there will still be alcohol left in the finished dish.

Jjimen1654 9

Sunday 9 June 2013 4:59

Oh, they are released, right into her gut.

ViviMage 38

Monday 10 June 2013 8:51

No, see, her science said the Calories are released BY cooking, not by eating! All the Calories are gone by the time it comes out if the oven! There are Calorie free foods or negative Calorie foods, like celery. Baked goods aren't one of them

Pinkfun69 4

Sunday 9 June 2013 5:17

No Hun, you haven't raised a moron. You have raised a well rounded (get it rounded) child;-)

ImInYourFACEbook 8

Sunday 9 June 2013 5:19

Right? I feel like she is one of those people that go to restaurants like, "Um, I'm on a diet so instead of the house salad can I just get an apartment salad instead?"