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  BritishHobo  |  5

Yeah, it always pees me off when people's complaints on an FML are 'this didn't ruin your life'. Oh, sorry, would you rather be on a website full of people who watched a friend die, or caught a terminal illness, or some other soul-destroying horrifying experience? It's a funny site, and it always has been.

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  cjammer  |  6

They compare their bowel movements to transportation. Heard of similes and metaphors? Kind of like someone saying, "That Saint Bernard is as big as a house!" (which is a simile), or "That Saint Bernard is a house!" (which is a metaphor). Here they're saying, "My shit is as big as/came out as fast as/looks just like a coach bus", or in terms of a metaphor (and accurate to the FML), "My shit is a coach bus." Hence the start of the comparison. "They take" is part of the clause in "the dumps they take", as in "bowel movements they have". I think you guys are mistakenly reading it as "...dumps they bring with them onto common transportation" instead of "[using a metaphor/simile, compare: the dumps (that they take) ---> common transportation." I honestly hope this helps. If it sounds jagged and disoriented, that's because I couldn't stop laughing throughout this episode of Shit English 101.

By  perdix  |  37

They probably use the same system to describe their boyfriends penises, Mr. Dinghy. You may want to avoid anal when "water taxi" makes its appearance.

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