Transportation: Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a... - FML

By religionbites621 - 22/11/2011 17:18 - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 550

You deserved it 3 546

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Same thing different taste

By Jo - 26/10/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 932

You deserved it 3 061

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 138

By Atheist - 22/03/2012 04:56 - United States - Portland

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 592

You deserved it 5 626

Jesus, take the wheel

By ThreeMoreYears - 03/03/2020 03:01

Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 226

By Username - 18/10/2010 15:52 - France

Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 178

You deserved it 2 915

By whatthewoah - 02/09/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 127

You deserved it 2 230

Slippery

By charliebravo77 - 09/12/2011 20:14 - United States

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 422

You deserved it 4 398

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 143

Grave error

By spyrogers1677 - 18/11/2022 00:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 122

By munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 42 481

Next

Top comments

MattRoseen 12

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:06

The power of Christ compells you!

Mahomie123 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:06

Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol

Comments

deviable 9

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:04

Did you get his information?

Eenonymous 1

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:05

Maybe He'll fix it for you too...

diidiimi 10

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:05

That's awesome! I mean, sucks for you but seriously funny! Did you do something to incur divine retribution? On another note, did you get photos? Was he sticking upside-down from the roof of your car?

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:05

Did you crash into it? Jesus shot put? I do appreciate the succint verbiage but I really want some details here.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:09

Now your car is blessed.

MwahFMLS 6

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:12

Hallelujah!

arkid24 1

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:14

The power of christ crushes you, the power of christ crushes you!

Miranda303 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:15

guess it happens differently for all people

dcliner01 4

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:17

Well good thing you weren't in your car

3RR0R404 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:19

Faith just kinda hits us all in different ways.

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The Top

Today, my boss fired me because someone hacked our website and replaced pictures of our products with furry porn (don’t Google it, it’s weird as fuck). We don’t have an IT department, but since I spend the most time on the computer controlling stock and purchases, he blamed me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 161

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 339

You deserved it 15 971

The Top

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 170

You deserved it 49 917

Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 751

You deserved it 2 413

Today, I found out I didn't get the promotion I applied for. Then I was told I was the only one who applied for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 143

Today, after my naked husband farted in my face because he’s an immature man child who refuses to act his age, this morning I woke up with raging pink eye. I’m half blind and I’m supposed to be taking my driving test this afternoon. I can’t see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 217

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 13 807

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 218

You deserved it 260 093