Transportation: Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a... - FML

By religionbites621 - 22/11/2011 17:18 - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 550

You deserved it 3 546

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Jo - 26/10/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 932

You deserved it 3 061

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 138

By Atheist - 22/03/2012 04:56 - United States - Portland

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 592

You deserved it 5 626

Jesus, take the wheel

By ThreeMoreYears - 03/03/2020 03:01

Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 226

By Username - 18/10/2010 15:52 - France

Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 178

You deserved it 2 915

By whatthewoah - 02/09/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 127

You deserved it 2 230

Slippery

By charliebravo77 - 09/12/2011 20:14 - United States

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 422

You deserved it 4 398

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 143

Grave error

By spyrogers1677 - 18/11/2022 00:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 122

By munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 42 481

Next

Top comments

MattRoseen 12

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:06

The power of Christ compells you!

Mahomie123 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:06

Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol

Comments

Person1233 12

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:26

You may not have felt the love of Jesus, but your car certainly did. If in the future you lose control of that car and crash into a church, it's trying to tell you something.

perdix 29

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:29

Yet another sign you need to stop masturbating!

bizarre_ftw 21

Wednesday 23 November 2011 0:16

What were the others?

Julieannx3 9

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:38

Maybe he saved you from a car wreck OP.

AlexRen 21

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:39

Jesus second coming .

screamo_neve 12

Wednesday 23 November 2011 0:09

We've heard this for thousands of years. It's not happening. *bring on the thumbs down* Also no need to argue. It's a website, people post their opinions all of the time.

TipOfTheHat 10

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:47

Pimp my ride! The new Jesus mobile! Complete with concrete statue!

sirhobothesecond 3

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:50

Did anybody else check OP's profile to see if they were from Rio de Janeiro?

Thisismypchere 8

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:52

2*3?2*37

lil00shadow 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:53

may the power of christ compel you!!

jam531 3

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:54

Maybe it's a sign

anencephalic 14

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:10

Maybe it's just a concrete stature.

daisyismydog 3

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:55

Hallelujah.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 019

You deserved it 3 408

The Top

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 294

You deserved it 14 755

Today, I woke up to my husband chuckling. When I asked him what was so funny. He told me that during the night I attempted to shove one of the kids' pacifiers in his mouth. I don't remember this, at all. He thinks it's hysterical. I'm not sure what to think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 952

You deserved it 1 867

Today, I got a phone call from my daughter’s school. Turns out, an African-American girl approached her and tried to play with her, but my daughter cut her off and said, "I don’t want to play with a black person." I have no idea where she learned this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 1 324

Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 070

You deserved it 67 989

Today, my brother’s cat pissed on my brand new bed. He refuses to replace the mattress, and claims it wasn’t his cat. We only have one cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 146

Today, my insanely religious 60-year-old neighbor screamed at me when I left my home to go to work. I was wearing jeans and that’s apparently improper for a female adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 515

You deserved it 319