Transportation: Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a... - FML

By religionbites621 - 22/11/2011 17:18 - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 550

You deserved it 3 546

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Jo - 26/10/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 932

You deserved it 3 061

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 138

By Atheist - 22/03/2012 04:56 - United States - Portland

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 592

You deserved it 5 626

Jesus, take the wheel

By ThreeMoreYears - 03/03/2020 03:01

Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 226

By Username - 18/10/2010 15:52 - France

Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 178

You deserved it 2 915

By whatthewoah - 02/09/2010 18:10 - United States

Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 127

You deserved it 2 230

Slippery

By charliebravo77 - 09/12/2011 20:14 - United States

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 422

You deserved it 4 398

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 143

Grave error

By spyrogers1677 - 18/11/2022 00:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 122

By munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 42 481

Next

Top comments

MattRoseen 12

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:06

The power of Christ compells you!

Mahomie123 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 22:06

Jesus is falling from the heavens.. lol

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:23

If you were looking for a sign... to stop smoking to stop using crack to go to church to see a good hooker to start using crack, and cigarettes I think you've got it.

chels1994 11

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:24

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there

ambamm135 7

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:25

May the power of Christ compel you?

gurlllno 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:28

"I saw the sign an it opened up my eyes I saw the sign!"Hahahahaha(:

jarredsj26 7

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:30

You should keep it and sell it for millions. Lmao

bad_chiquita 5

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:31

Too bad you can't sue God for damages. I mean, I really don't know. We can't ever know for sure. I'm agnostic.

bizarre_ftw 21

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:35

Jesus loves everyone!! Except you. :)

Mayshod 3

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:36

I would love to know how this happens.

MelCristian55 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:37

Haha jesus is falling from the sky ;) Maybe hes hinting you(:

clsgators 5

Tuesday 22 November 2011 23:37

Too bad your car isn't made of water..... Jesus can walk on water

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The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 67

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 181

You deserved it 7 310

The Top

Today, after a year of moving to a new country, getting our kids settled into the new education system, and our commutes sorted, our landlord notified us that he needs the house back for his son. There are no similar rentals or properties for sale in the region. We have to start over somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 96

Today, I found out that a two-day job I helped my dad do for his old friend was actually a job for a real customer, who paid my dad £4500. All I got for my two days work was coffee and Co-op sandwiches for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 114

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 705

You deserved it 8 901

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mother putting up the dishes. I went to stand up from putting a pot in a lower cabinet and hit my head on the upper cabinet she left open by accident. Hello concussion number nine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 749

You deserved it 952

Today, I learned that all of my "friends" refer to me as the, "Jar Jar Binks" of our circle of friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 521

You deserved it 467

Today, I was having a panic attack so I called my parents. My brother answered to say my parents couldn't come to the phone because they were watching 24. Its ten o'clock and 24 is not on now. They were watching 24 on TiVo and couldn't pause it to come to the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 750

You deserved it 5 383