Miscellaneous: Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt... - FML

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 3 661

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Same thing different taste

By Foufinator - 04/10/2009 19:33 - France

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 129

You deserved it 3 558

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 949

You deserved it 4 785

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 176

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 085

You deserved it 3 651

By wellesleybanana - 17/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 217

You deserved it 4 680

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 015

You deserved it 2 642

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 14:30 - United States - Fpo

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 704

You deserved it 6 826

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 267

You deserved it 4 592

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 320

You deserved it 16 744

Hi guys

By unemployed - 11/07/2016 19:09 - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 255

You deserved it 804

Next

Top comments

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:18

Did it come with a side order of Chicken Flied Lice, too? That would bug me.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:17

Oh good lord...that's disgusting... Hope you can get a refund....

Comments

mominzed 19

Saturday 8 February 2014 11:25

That is why wholesome, home-prepared food is the best!

jadeystram 3

Saturday 8 February 2014 11:38

It's seriously not that hard to realize that takeaways is the same as takeout. Away from the store or out of the store same shit guys. Why is everyone (Americans) so confused. It's like we're speaking a whole different language or something looking at the comments.

Soliloquy93 14

Saturday 8 February 2014 11:48

I can't think of a worse way to find a cockroach... my deepest sympathies.

SeahawksnationxD 7

Saturday 8 February 2014 20:42

YDI. You should have noticed it was there....

beautiful_hope 16

Sunday 9 February 2014 1:28

That is the most disgusting thing I've ever read. Honest to God. I'd probably go rinse my mouth out with acid & then shoot myself. Roaches are the most disgusting thing on this planet. I'd literally rather eat shit.

JustStella 28

Sunday 9 February 2014 9:50

Hmmm, interesting. In this game of "Would You Rather", I'd pick the roach in a heartbeat.

underguarded 20

Sunday 9 February 2014 6:30

Well, I was eating..

LuapMere 11

Sunday 9 February 2014 22:45

How'd it taste?

suewtsn 3

Tuesday 11 February 2014 3:53

I would never eat again.

SoreJohnson 4

Tuesday 11 February 2014 4:27

Were you the one who got shot at by the owner of the Chinese restaurant for the cockroach egg roll?

savlk 1

Thursday 13 February 2014 15:47

One time my mom bit into a burrito and got a mouth full of not only roach, but it's eggs as well.

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The Top

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 849

You deserved it 7 890

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

The Top

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 619

You deserved it 41 575

Today, I'm unloved by my partner. She has not made love with me for one and a half years. On our anniversary two years ago, she told me we had nothing to celebrate, that I had achieved nothing in more than a decade we have been together. I lost 25 kgs and got a new job earning around 80K a year. Still nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 228

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 955

You deserved it 5 846

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 517

You deserved it 2 989

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 559

You deserved it 17 827

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 230