Health: Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled...

By Anonymous - 02/10/2012 19:39 - United States - Richland

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 716

You deserved it 2 956

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 16:38 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 996

You deserved it 3 592

By Pottymouth - 25/07/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 028

You deserved it 24 543

By phoneless - 17/04/2012 19:23 - Jordan

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 169

You deserved it 26 227

By breakinphones - 20/02/2011 02:03 - United States

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 636

You deserved it 81 707

Smooth.

By yosmurf - 13/08/2018 23:31

Today, I finished taking a huge dump at the public restroom at the mall. When I got up to wipe, my wrist clipped my butt and knocked my brand new Apple Watch into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 1 211

By Kris - 06/12/2010 20:31 - United States

Today, I found my iPhone. Too bad it was when I was getting my clothes out of the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 153

You deserved it 29 174

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 11:04 - India

Today, I left my brand new iPhone on the counter, and went to get its cleaning cloth. My grandmother saw a mosquito, and used my iPhone as a fly swatter. I now have a broken iPhone. Good news though: no more mosquito. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 828

You deserved it 5 778

By ryanharp2 - 27/07/2012 05:05 - United States - Conway

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 711

You deserved it 42 982

By Paige - 26/12/2011 06:35 - United States

Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 203

You deserved it 52 251

By thesadone - 03/07/2010 06:49 - United States

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 965

You deserved it 10 757

Psych101 9

Wednesday 3 October 2012 0:00

"I fell on it?"

LlamaUprising 10

Tuesday 2 October 2012 23:58

Classy.

Comments

batrob 7

Wednesday 3 October 2012 2:30

Finders keepers doesn't apply in this situation right?

slickchrome 11

Wednesday 3 October 2012 2:31

People don't use phones to call people anymore?

jemmers 13

Wednesday 3 October 2012 2:35

Anyone else wondering if this is DocBastard?

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 3 October 2012 4:35

You guys should really read the comments before posting predictable stuff.

teh_uber_muffin 3

Wednesday 3 October 2012 2:42

Is the Op Docbastard?

olpally 32

Wednesday 3 October 2012 5:24

No!!! Read the comments above!!

lilmisslivid 0

Wednesday 3 October 2012 2:45

Did someone say for him to shove it out his ass and he literally did? Well more in but still why would anyone......people are WEIRD!

silvernights21 10

Wednesday 3 October 2012 2:47

I will patiently wait for the fml from the patients perspective, because there is no way you get a phone shoved up your ass, and still have a positive outlook on your life.

cwlovell13 3

Wednesday 3 October 2012 2:53

Maybe the patient enjoyed it... HAve you not heard any of the gerbil stories?

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 3 October 2012 2:54

I bet I didn't.

jaycooter 0

Wednesday 3 October 2012 2:57

Was SIRI vibrating? I think I will try this tonight LMFAO!!!!!

honeybadgerDG2S 2

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:01

That's an fml for him not you

Austyn57 1

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:02

was he related to the girl that had it up her ****** lol

Keywords

Management Work Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Mother in law Gifts Family Money Birthday Education Parents Public freakouts Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 224

You deserved it 4 768

Today, the bank called to ask when were we going to make the mortgage payments for our family home. We were several months late. I had been transferring my mother the cash to make the mortgage payments after she lost her money gambling. She absolutely promised she would stop several months ago. I guess she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 1 620

The Top

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 827

You deserved it 54 331

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 843

You deserved it 5 290

Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come back. His answer: "feeling-wise I won't come back to you, but sexually, why not". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 017

You deserved it 28 284

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 420

You deserved it 46 456

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 778

You deserved it 2 972

Today, my coworker touched me inappropriately. I reported it to HR, and all they said was, "Do you want to talk to a therapist?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 128

Same thing different taste

Smooth.

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