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By Kimberpoo - / Thursday 14 March 2013 06:21 / United States - San Diego
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  perdix  |  29

#1, Bribery. Here, they go by the euphemism of "campaign contribution." If there's a dollar to be made by selling a product that makes people shit their pants, spending a penny to grease the right Congressman is just about the best investment there is.

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  middlecyclone  |  5

Sorbitol is an artificial sweetener and Iain almost all sugar free candies and most gum too. It is also a main ingredient in laxatives. Some people can handle it better than others. Others (like myself) can't handle it at all and one candy causes problems. Hence the "may cause" on the label.

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  DocBastard  |  38

Glucose is what everything you eat gets broken down to, and sucrose is regular table sugar. What you ate was probably maltitol or sorbitol, which are sweet sugar alcohols that have no caloric value. They can, however, cause the GI symptoms you and OP were unlucky enough to experience.

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  intelliDude  |  7

Adding on to Doc, you should also know that many sugar free products have some type of sugar alcohol in them because they taste terrible without the added sweet taste.

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  akiahara  |  14

Diet soda does not give you the shits. Aspartame, sucralose, etc, are not sugar alcohols and do not have the same effect. I'm diabetic and would rather not take insulin for such things, so Splenda and diet soda, FTW. But those sugar free candies are nasty. Also, you have to eat several servings before it becomes a laxative. Sugar free, low fat, nonfat, whatever doesn't mean that you should hoover the whole bag.

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Every food item has implied side effects warnings... because they all consist of chemical compounds and side effects are still an item's effects. Strawberry - Cellulose, Glucose, Vitamin C... each compound affects individuals in different ways, idiosyncrasies. Implied warning: May kill you. May restore your energy via ETC..and the list goes on.

By  photoquilty  |  6

Your FML may as well have read, "today I pooped my pants." Bwahahaha.

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  stevenJB  |  22

I'm sorry, but...but, that was kinda, a lot, sorta really bad. :/

By  perdix  |  29

It would be hard to market a product with a "may cause sharting" label on it. There was a fake fat that had "make cause oily anal leakage" on its label, and that's why you never hear of it anymore.

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  stevenJB  |  22

Whoa! Almost had the whole Internet n your ass there for a moment! o.o

By  narrowords  |  18

It seems obvious that sugar-free candy is indicative of a chemical shitstorm. Good news: the sharts will go away. Bad news: your IQ will stay relatively the same.

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