Intimacy: Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML - FML

By dumbassbuffet - 11/11/2011 15:53 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 742

You deserved it 84 070

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By sharkgirl4 - 25/08/2014 16:17 - United States - Rialto

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 066

You deserved it 4 389

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 561

You deserved it 13 133

By Username - 02/08/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 458

You deserved it 3 253

By Anonymous - 14/07/2016 00:56 - Canada - Concord

Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 166

You deserved it 1 570

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 085

You deserved it 3 982

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 076

You deserved it 34 020

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 983

You deserved it 8 237

Caught

By Boredom - 26/01/2009 21:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 840

You deserved it 76 207

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 940

You deserved it 9 362

Slicy slicy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 967

Next

Top comments

every1luvsboners 11

Friday 11 November 2011 18:59

Wrong kind of ********, champ.

Alleged_Cranium 7

Friday 11 November 2011 19:00

You don't quite understand what a ******** is? Do you?

Comments

SoftDeath_SR 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:09

rofl...now there's your problem

terrask 11

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:15

IDK how you did it but you certainly didn't accidentally trip and fall naked on an uncovered spinning desk fan.

Dannibalism 1

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:21

I've done way worse to mine you pansy, but I'm kinky like that ;)

AndreKanaan 6

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:27

That's one way to get a circumcision

shadowch 4

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:27

This is beyond stupidity.....

Vball6 19

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:44

What exactly was your penis doing near the fan?

13FMYLIFE 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 4:02

I don't think this really happened... considering if ur wang got cut by a fan I don't think you'd tell anyone. But I guess a person like you would have one small enough to fit through the small rungs of the fan, huh?

raymaster1103 6

Saturday 12 November 2011 4:17

Ouch. FYL

brianod 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 4:23

Pain Olympics 2

xXEmzzXx 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 4:24

Dumbass.

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I agree, your life sucks 52 984

You deserved it 19 769

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You deserved it 798 172

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You deserved it 251

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You deserved it 199

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I agree, your life sucks 27 078

You deserved it 8 056

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I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 172

Today, I fired all 12 of my employees, purely out of anger and frustration. Realizing my mistake when I'd calmed down, I called each employee and apologized, asking if they'd come back. Only one said yes. The mailroom clerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 6 537

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I agree, your life sucks 35 782

You deserved it 4 909