Gross, Creepy, Spiders and Health: Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn,...

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 19:02 - United States

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 602

You deserved it 8 243

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Same thing different taste

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 946

You deserved it 1 162

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 632

You deserved it 766

Tasty

By spiderlady - 21/09/2015 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 000

You deserved it 2 178

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 110

You deserved it 4 988

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 699

You deserved it 2 514

By Anonymous - 11/05/2011 17:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 557

You deserved it 17 227

By Anonymous - 14/02/2012 12:39 - Australia

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 942

You deserved it 5 834

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 3 023

By danonno - 02/08/2012 21:08 - Canada - Nelson

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 290

You deserved it 3 285

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 152

You deserved it 3 984

Tedet 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 23:21

Cover your mouth when you yawn.

hsusanne 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 23:22

It's impolite to yawn with your mouth wide open. :)

Comments

dfrasier 0

Wednesday 12 May 2010 6:30

yay! my first FML comment!

tellmeastoryplz4 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 3:52

what are the odds?! fyl

sheltergirl87 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 5:07

That's why most people cover their mouths when they yawn

neiraem 0

Monday 13 December 2010 1:35

EWWWW -_-

PenelopeRamirez_fml 4

Friday 25 November 2011 17:21

Have you never heard of covering your mouth when you yawn??

mousse02 4

Tuesday 24 April 2012 2:16

Haha it's impolite yawning with. Ur mouth open other wise tht will happen haha

annwriter 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 6:08

Why weren't you covering your mouth?

whyuacactus 4

Monday 12 August 2013 9:31

i would cry

_G0D_ 9

Saturday 25 January 2014 4:29

The dominate species!

SexyMexi21 23

Saturday 7 June 2014 23:20

Haha food chain !

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The Top

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 432

You deserved it 236

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 622

You deserved it 6 969

The Top

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 357

You deserved it 7 277

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 517

You deserved it 5 344

Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 079

You deserved it 612

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 605

You deserved it 1 905

Today, when I left for work at 7:00 am, my dad was playing Grand Theft Auto 5. When I got home at 3:30, he was still playing. I'm 18 years old. He's 45. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 495

You deserved it 1 272

Today, I got home and I was feeling horny so I leapt on my boyfriend, except he had just got home from a 16-hour day and was too tired. After his nap, he was horny but by that time I was way too tired and no longer horny. This is ridiculous, we can’t even get laid even though we live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 354

Same thing different taste

Tasty

Happy meal

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