Intimacy: Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 564

You deserved it 24 312

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 565

You deserved it 434

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 296

Hangover time

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 30 372

By anon - 20/12/2016 23:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Spicy

Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 780

You deserved it 2 898

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 704

You deserved it 4 699

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 592

You deserved it 2 802

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 916

You deserved it 4 005

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 267

You deserved it 62 362

It's not the size that counts

By Leo Scofield - 29/08/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 030

You deserved it 147

By Anonymousse - 13/11/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 767

You deserved it 1 552

Next

Top comments

iheartjustinsane 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:32

YDI for sleeping with some guy you just met.

youdontdeserveit_fml 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 17:27

shamwow?

Comments

sabrinaacrow 26

Tuesday 23 April 2013 22:46

At least he wasn't having a shit on your roommates carpet

RDragonzx 23

Wednesday 5 June 2013 4:29

Guess you should of made sure he was house broken.

MaddieSmiles6 6

Friday 18 April 2014 4:48

You shouldn't sleep with people you just met. Sorry YDI.

Stryker_13 19

Saturday 8 November 2014 10:36

Really hoping you decide to leave this as a one night stand cause if he would do that...what other stupid things would he do?

Cherubapples 4

Monday 23 May 2016 8:03

if i could YDI a thousand times

SiraSiemens 21

Wednesday 22 June 2016 15:09

pfff all those people calling you out for having slept with someone you just met are probably just envious because they never scored like that. i feel you op the guys a ******* gross idiot

Keywords

Money Concert Transportation Love Sex Weddings Cheating Animals Mental health Cats AITA Annoying DIY Relatable Pregnancy Cops Weird Hair Cute Tattoos OCD Miscellaneous School Health Relationship advice Work Sleep Nepotism Management Accident

The Top

Today, the guy I was seeing told me it wasn’t gonna work out and that he wished me the best. Apparently I acted “too desperate” for his liking. Gee, I’m sorry, but I guess showing basic decency like buying you a birthday present, buying you lunch everyday, and allowing you to use my Netflix, AKA being loving, is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 457

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 906

You deserved it 48 199

The Top

Today, the windows on my car were frozen. I filled up a bucket of hot water, and threw it on the windows. The windows cracked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 684

You deserved it 82 613

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 524

You deserved it 2 609

Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 988

You deserved it 5 042

Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to a new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 079

You deserved it 41 829

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 352

You deserved it 2 051

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 270

You deserved it 10 816