Intimacy: Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I...

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 949

You deserved it 4 012

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 157

You deserved it 3 425

By motherlover - 05/08/2014 04:40 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 278

You deserved it 4 359

You tried

By dumped - 26/07/2010 23:48 - United States

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 667

You deserved it 5 617

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 967

You deserved it 33 403

By saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 690

You deserved it 12 887

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 515

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 371

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 173

You deserved it 7 764

By Mak1 - 05/12/2008 08:12 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 724

You deserved it 4 686

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 334

Mysanitywins 10

Wednesday 8 December 2010 12:09

Mom-1 GF-0

rockhound 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 12:06

Well, his mom IS awesome.

Comments

murphythadog 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 13:50

maybe she's so awesome because she let's him have topless girls over even though he's 32.

AceArctic 4

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:15

Guy equivalent to a girl calling their boyfriend "daddy" maybe? (which by the way, that's creepy as hell)

sy123sy 0

Friday 10 December 2010 1:20

daaaaamnnn u look hot as *** :) just had to say it

GangstaGalahleio 0

Friday 10 December 2010 9:08

what'd?? she make him a sammich or something?

steph8608 0

Friday 10 December 2010 10:48

hilarious!

FerrariCake 2

Friday 10 December 2010 21:12

He's gay. Cut your losses. Move on.

Vlieto23 8

Saturday 11 December 2010 4:31

elaborate. why did he say this?

truehitman2010 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 6:02

omf! your life is ruined because of that?

flufferheadfool 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 4:11

HAAAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHH I HEART THISSS!!!!

nimzie 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 7:55

WTF why?

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The Top

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 429

You deserved it 4 436

...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

The Top

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 942

You deserved it 56 010

Today, my stepmom accused me of creeping around, acting sneaky, and maybe even planning to kill her in her sleep because I’m "still angry at my dad divorcing my mom and marrying her." All I did was get up at 2 a.m. for a pee at coincidentally the same time as she was going outside for a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 71

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 098

You deserved it 3 198

Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 61

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 566

You deserved it 5 066

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 435

You deserved it 9 176

Same thing different taste

You tried

A little higher, dude

Pick your moments, dude!

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