Animals: TMI

TMI

By Grossedouttt - 04/07/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 478

You deserved it 3 719

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Same thing different taste

By what-the-what - 29/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 775

You deserved it 298

By Jeremy - 10/05/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 290

You deserved it 87 239

Good boy

By Anonymous - 26/10/2014 00:51 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 071

You deserved it 2 919

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 976

You deserved it 53 790

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 784

You deserved it 18 359

Knock first!

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 06:00

Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 836

By meeranda - 01/01/2010 05:07 - France

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 395

You deserved it 32 885

Gross

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 15:59 - United States - Cumberland

Today, I confronted my mother because I lock my bedroom door everytime I leave the house, then when I came home, the door was open and ajar. She got really defensive and said it's because she and her boyfriend want to make passionate whoopie on my king-size bed because it's bigger than her full-size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 134

By seaweedlady - 21/06/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 977

You deserved it 4 872

Alone time

By Anonymous - 27/02/2024 14:00 - United States - Buford

Today, I finally got some alone time today with the boyfriend (we have kids, so this is rare) and we were going heavily at it when his mother decided to drop in and wouldn’t stop knocking on the front door. Worst timing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 106

Ub3r_Crippl3 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 12:16

You asked. At least she was honest.

8trickster8 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 12:32

I agree with #6

Comments

geesquared 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 17:30

I wonder if they have ever heard of door locks... haha

davdude12 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 17:41

My dog does the same thing to me and my girlfriend and my door's knob is broken so of doesn't lock.. I use weights to hold the door close

lastminuteperm 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 17:42

Sounds fake. They could have locked him in a different room, put him outside, or whatever. I'm not saying it IS fake but it SOUNDS fake.

baileys82 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:31

you've never owned a pet who *has* to be in the same room as you at all times.

jdawg777 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 17:45

Parents should NOT still be having sex by the time their kids are old enough to drive, or even know what sex is

aaaaa12345_fml 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 2:01

why the **** not? sex is a big part of any normal marriage.

randomxtremely 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:18

FYL I would hate to even see my parents faces no matter what they're doing--they suck

Dramaramagrl 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:18

ewwwww but u shouldn't have asked.

bloodyhell9398 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:53

if you close the door ALL the way, a dog cant open it

omigod 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:56

F ur mom's life. dogs need love too. just let that poor thing have its way. threesome is not too bad after the first time.

cramazing 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:06

wtf y would she ask u that??? FYL hard

jw90 18

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:13

Shouldn't of asked..:P

Keywords

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The Top

Today, an interviewer rang me back, but not to offer me the job. It was to warn me that if my psychotic mother rang him at his home address again trying to bribe and threaten him into giving me the job, then he would call the police and press charges for harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 62

Today, I asked a girl from Bumble for a full body pic. She was obese, so I told her it wasn’t gonna work. She then sent a video of her in real time looking slim and told me that picture was from when she was obese, and she'd sent that picture as a “test of my character” and she’s “better off without someone so judgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 914

The Top

Today, I was in an audition for a production at this theater in town. The directors at the table loved my audition. One of them said, "I'd love to talk to you about coming to TCU." I said, "Oh, yeah! I know Harry Parker at TCU who runs the theater department." I said this to Harry Parker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 668

You deserved it 91 903

Today, I told my mother I was doing fine with my classes when I actually wasn't because her mother is dying, and I didn't want her to have more things to stress about. She found out and she's very hurt. I feel awful about it and I know lying wasn't the right thing to do, but in the moment I didn't want to cause her any more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 190

Today, at the old folk's home where I work as a housekeeper, a resident was holding herself on the way to the bathroom. I hoped she wouldn't leave a mess. She made it just fine. I was then informed that she had left a crap trail from the couch, more than 20ft away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 461

You deserved it 2 739

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 137

You deserved it 3 157

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He's 6'2 and I'm 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 907

You deserved it 5 095

Today, I dumped my boyfriend for cheating on me and he actually asked if we weren’t dating could we still have sex, as a FWB type of thing. I blame his mother, she must have done something to screw him up, there’s no way idiocy like his occurs naturally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 254

TMI