Love, Health, Family, Poopoo peepee and Gross: TMI, dude

TMI, dude

By Anonymous - 23/11/2018 16:00 - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 280

You deserved it 247

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Same thing different taste

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 458

You deserved it 2 861

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 960

You deserved it 7 914

Unpleasant

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 96

Extreme dating

By umm yeah no! - 20/08/2021 13:59

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my new girlfriend about her terrible hygiene. In the two weeks we’ve been dating, she admitted to only having showered "once or twice." She doesn’t see a problem with this, even though the first (and last) time she came to my place, she smelled like death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 260

By oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 818

You deserved it 410

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 9 502

Impressive

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 007

You deserved it 5 827

By FuckingDone - 20/05/2016 23:08 - United States - Enterprise

Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 132

You deserved it 1 101

Clean break

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 11:02

Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 328

Nice to know

By justin bieber's nutsack - 06/06/2015 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 246

You deserved it 2 795

RichardPencil 30

Friday 23 November 2018 22:20

At least you don’t need to worry about him stealing her from you... ...unless she’s a certain kind of freak!

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 5 November 2018 4:23

At least he was honest, which is an admirable trait. Shame he was also gross.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 5 November 2018 4:23

At least he was honest, which is an admirable trait. Shame he was also gross.

acmariner99 25

Friday 23 November 2018 22:06

What’s with all the crappy FMLs lately?

Cali 54

Thursday 29 November 2018 2:08

If you want a say in what gets published you can moderate the FMLs!

RichardPencil 30

Friday 23 November 2018 22:20

At least you don’t need to worry about him stealing her from you... ...unless she’s a certain kind of freak!

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 23 November 2018 23:29

What the hell is wrong with your brother?

silentbabydeer 10

Saturday 24 November 2018 0:34

I really hope he didn’t put his hands out right in front of her nose for her to smell how bad he stinks. Yuck!

TumblrweedPasses 11

Saturday 24 November 2018 22:28

Maybe he was just trying to embarrass you by making it look like your family's loopy?? If he ever brings someone home you know what to do

Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14

Monday 26 November 2018 3:18

Your brother must hate you.

Starstone Silvermoon 3

Monday 26 November 2018 6:04

nasty

Slim87R 7

Friday 24 April 2020 12:37

Is your brother 7?

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Same thing different taste

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