Intimacy: Timing

Timing

By embarrassed - 01/06/2009 20:11 - United States

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me, "When?" so I replied "Towards the end." I didn't realize she was actually asking what day this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 621

You deserved it 65 142

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Same thing different taste

By God hates me - 26/01/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 146

You deserved it 8 289

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 773

You deserved it 53 631

By greenchan - 25/02/2011 05:12 - United States

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 279

You deserved it 20 950

By cocacola999 - 03/05/2014 10:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 747

You deserved it 7 788

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 390

You deserved it 33 869

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 394

You deserved it 1 581

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 540

You deserved it 10 545

By jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 507

You deserved it 3 602

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 162

You deserved it 32 902

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 108

You deserved it 4 186

nuclear 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:47

Yeah even I didn't understand what she meant by that. FHL for not being clear enough. Nah, no one's life is ****** in this situation..

f_ed_panda 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:47

how is your life f'd? Seriously, just mentioning that you had sex and the condom broke is more of a FYL than is getting confused by the doctor's question. O.o

Comments

fosizzlemynizzlE 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:52

lol...you really didn't understand what he was saying? not really fyl, but just lol-worthy

anoymousjoe 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:49

kitties_fml 12

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:47

this isn't an FML?

ilikeboys 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:52

the morning after pill does too work!!!!

sparda4355 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:53

So then the doc said, "no I meant when, as in day" and you said "oh yesterday"... My god women, your life is ******! Oh wait, no it isn't... WTF??? This isn't funny or an FML... I'm only commenting on this because it's been a long day at work and I've gone through ALL of the other FML's from over the weekend!

morgs1 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 14:42

calm down

iEnvade 2

Friday 1 April 2011 14:40

He's got a point though..

fiveforfighting 26

Friday 1 May 2015 1:17

There's a random section for a reason.

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:50

I'm with #10, and #11 makes better sense. Being confused - not so much an FML as having the condom break.

morgs1 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 14:40

would a condom breaking inside you hurt??

Jumbalaya_fml 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:55

YDI for having premarital sex.

missymay993 11

Saturday 24 March 2012 18:03

Nowhere does it mention whether she was married or not. Maybe they were married and just weren't ready for children.

ilikeboys 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:51

the morning after pill does too work!!!

iEnvade 2

Friday 1 April 2011 14:38

What they're saying is that the pill only prevents sperm from reaching and fertilizing the egg, it doesn't work if the sperm has already fertilized the egg (therefore making the woman pregnant) So no, it WON'T work if the woman is already pregnant. Btw, your overuse of punctuation amuses me.

anniesaysbueno 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 1:54

youre life is not ******. you just misunderstood. get over it :D at least youre not going to get a little surprise in 9 months.

lemon_squeezy 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 2:01

this is really dumb no offense. i can't comprehend how this got put up when i send in way better ones all the time that don't go up... worst one ever, not an FML at all.