Work and Health: The planets aligned

The planets aligned

By Anonymous - 15/08/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I started a new job. I also started my period, and have the shits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 112

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Great start

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 08:02

Today, I started my period and have cramps that came from the hottest part of hell. I also have to go to work so that I don’t lose my holiday pay. Happy New Year to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 17:54 - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 139

You deserved it 24 347

Funday is canceled

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 16:00

Today, I’m currently battling a cold that caused me to call into work yesterday and, as of this morning, I’ve also started my period and have the most painful cramps ever. Good thing I have the day off from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 121

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 655

You deserved it 984

The body keeps the score

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 17:00 - United Kingdom - Pontefract

Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 104

By Wow - 23/12/2018 16:00

Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 622

You deserved it 147

By SickSmick - 09/02/2010 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 586

You deserved it 3 492

By period pains - 22/08/2015 10:47 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 868

You deserved it 2 129

By PeedMaPants - 16/08/2016 00:04 - United Kingdom - Meopham

Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 363

You deserved it 2 347

Squits

By fishtities - 07/04/2016 04:56 - United States - Dallas

Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 699

You deserved it 1 743

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 16 August 2022 1:01

I hope you're not a stripper. Definitely not in an all-nude place.

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Tuesday 16 August 2022 0:41

Congratulations on the new job.

Comments

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Tuesday 16 August 2022 0:41

Congratulations on the new job.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 16 August 2022 1:01

I hope you're not a stripper. Definitely not in an all-nude place.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 380

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 824

You deserved it 254

The Top

Today, the most excitement in my week has been getting my new electric toothbrush in the post. I honestly can’t wait for it to charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 184

Today, I realized I freaking hate my career. I've only got through a semester, but I feel like I can't end the four years it takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 173

Today, I realized I have to finish a huge project for my ex-boss, or risk getting sued. I quit because he told me he’s refusing to pay me, and he doesn’t support me going back to school to get my dream degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 140

Today, I told the cute girl in my office that she looked like she listened to country music, as an icebreaker. She blankly stared at me for what felt like forever, and responded with, "That's the worst thing you could say to a person," and walked away. She hasn't talked to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 461

You deserved it 12 889

Today, I was going home with the tomato plant I just bought in my cup holder. The smell of it was filling the car and I love the smell so I picked it up and took a wiff. A few moments later I got pulled over. Apparantly, the cop saw me sniff it and thought I was smelling a marijuana plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 558

You deserved it 8 430

Today, the month-long muscle spasms that have been shoving my hips out of joint went to a new low. My whole body feels like I have the flu, with muscle aches and tension. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome does not mix well with PMDD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 70