Embarrassing and Health: The pirate look

The pirate look

By Anonymous - 13/11/2008 03:01 - France

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 5 971

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Same thing different taste

Looks good

By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 20:12 - Denmark

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 829

You deserved it 3 325

By Dante - 07/01/2011 00:26

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 824

You deserved it 2 465

By dangeronpa - 14/06/2019 02:32

Today, I broke my glasses. My eyesight is horrible, I can’t see things that aren’t super close to my face. I'm supposed to drive to another state tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 205

Not now, honey

By rhya4n - 15/05/2012 19:27 - Denmark - Herlev

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 033

You deserved it 3 370

By Anonymous - 05/04/2012 01:41 - United States - Lindale

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 798

You deserved it 20 721

By RedEye - 11/07/2017 17:30 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my contact ripped in half in my eye. One half fell out, but the other half got stuck too far under my eyelid. An hour and $100 later, Urgent Care finally got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 633

You deserved it 333

By suhleedah18 - 19/12/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 2 647

Ahoy there!

By sanza666 - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 216

By failedmusician - 03/06/2009 10:06 - New Zealand

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 711

You deserved it 59 042

By Anonymous - 13/08/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 741

You deserved it 4 006

StephanieSays 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 20:33

Don't be a weenie. My friend got a paper cut on her eye and is now partially color blind.

mister_moops 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 23:04

i don't understand. are you crying because you have to wear the bandage or because of the scratch?

Comments

Cloudbush 0

Monday 28 December 2009 16:19

Talk like a pirate all day.

bdunc13 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 5:35

I know how that feels that happened to me this summer it sux. it only lasts like a week and a half

xXZToonLinkZXx 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 8:56

Dude, OMYGOD, this should be on MLIA, not FML, damm this is awesome!!

Anteezy 7

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:22

Arrrrrrr

thelittlebeast01 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 14:46

woooow what are you a french frog take it like a man you nancy

inestimable_fml 8

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:37

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

kevtj 4

Wednesday 30 March 2011 8:21

Pirates are cool

ZoZo17_fml 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 4:29

boo ******* hoo. I had to wear one. not a ******* FML, idiot.

blackopskiller 0

Monday 2 May 2011 1:23

I had to wear a eye patch to school. it sucked bad

blackeyedchicken 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 6:11

suck it up princess

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 261

The Top

Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 953

You deserved it 6 503

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 899

Today, a guy I had developed feelings for broke things off with me, giving me a version of the “it’s not you, it’s me” line. This was the first person I had liked/wanted to date in almost 8 years. I think I’m destined to be alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 135

It's National Hotdog Day!

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 203

Today, I found out that when you and your boyfriend are having sex and you say, “I wanna have your baby” and he says, “Yes baby” and ejaculates inside you, it doesn’t mean he’s gonna stay. He said in his defense, “You said you wanted to have my baby, I never said I agreed to be a father.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 1 859

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 937

You deserved it 3 458