Embarrassing and Health: The pirate look

The pirate look

By Anonymous - 13/11/2008 03:01 - France

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 5 971

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Same thing different taste

Looks good

By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 20:12 - Denmark

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 828

You deserved it 3 325

By Dante - 07/01/2011 00:26

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 824

You deserved it 2 465

By dangeronpa - 14/06/2019 02:32

Today, I broke my glasses. My eyesight is horrible, I can’t see things that aren’t super close to my face. I'm supposed to drive to another state tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 205

Not now, honey

By rhya4n - 15/05/2012 19:27 - Denmark - Herlev

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 033

You deserved it 3 370

By Anonymous - 05/04/2012 01:41 - United States - Lindale

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 798

You deserved it 20 721

By RedEye - 11/07/2017 17:30 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my contact ripped in half in my eye. One half fell out, but the other half got stuck too far under my eyelid. An hour and $100 later, Urgent Care finally got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 633

You deserved it 333

By suhleedah18 - 19/12/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 2 647

Ahoy there!

By sanza666 - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 216

By failedmusician - 03/06/2009 10:06 - New Zealand

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 711

You deserved it 59 042

By Anonymous - 13/08/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 741

You deserved it 4 006

StephanieSays 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 20:33

Don't be a weenie. My friend got a paper cut on her eye and is now partially color blind.

mister_moops 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 23:04

i don't understand. are you crying because you have to wear the bandage or because of the scratch?

Comments

miuracross 4

Sunday 13 April 2014 2:57

I would love to have a bandage on my eye at school.

Shazra 9

Sunday 15 March 2015 5:25

Watch out for black women with samurai swords

bandgeekgirl0125 7

Wednesday 8 April 2015 13:40

if it helps, I'm on crutches because it hurts to put weight on my leg because I might have torn my ACL

tylercarolinex 21

Wednesday 15 July 2015 12:49

My cousin has to wear a patch every day to strengthen her other eye. Don't complain about one day!

LeotheCat 10

Tuesday 20 October 2015 6:12

Good luck with all the pirate jokes...

iadtgrad07 6

Wednesday 25 November 2015 23:47

Happened to me... twice while in school. Eye patch and all.

Soronya 9

Sunday 21 February 2016 5:41

Ouch...I'm more curious about how you scratched your corena.

lucasj23 11

Thursday 17 May 2018 20:08

and????? suck it up.

carrs2154 9

Tuesday 24 March 2020 21:58

Oh no. Whatever shall you do? Get over it. You'll be fine.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 94

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636 655

You deserved it 798 173

The Top

Today, the guy I was hooking up with said he wasn’t “looking for anything serious.” That’s not what he told me when I agreed to the hookups with a promise of becoming something more. When I mentioned this to him, he said, “Well, that was before I knew what you looked like naked.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 428

You deserved it 533

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 565

You deserved it 7 379

Today, I was on a chat site and a couple of cute guys asked for my "ASL". I had no idea what that meant so I asked one of my cousins. He said it meant "asshole" and that they were calling me an asshole. So I cursed at everyone who was actually asking for my "age, sex and location." FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 1 172

Today, I parked in my "employee of the month" parking spot by the front of the store and started my shift. About halfway through my shift, a customer backed into my vehicle, got out and checked, then drove off before I could come outside. Perks of being the best employee I can be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 564

You deserved it 857

Today, I was chewed out by my boss for reporting someone not wearing a mask in our store, because, "no one likes a snitch." I'm the security guard. It's my job to report that to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 149

Today, I'm facing the truth that the women I married, in large part to bring my long-lost family together, was too successful as she slept with one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 152