Embarrassing, Underwear and Health: Such a rush

Such a rush

By Embarrassed - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 347

You deserved it 47 596

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 311

By Bareassed - 29/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 620

You deserved it 12 943

Well done!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 601

You deserved it 5 023

Double sus

By Turnipseed3 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 299

You deserved it 3 146

BIKES?!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 705

You deserved it 6 287

By paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 342

You deserved it 4 226

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 896

You deserved it 61 514

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 713

You deserved it 3 904

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 038

You deserved it 823

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 781

You deserved it 99 785

Nordah 15

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:23

You lost me at "spray tan".

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:26

If I had a nickel for every time I left my underwear in my hair...

Comments

poccocurantes 7

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:32

G, string must be hard to come by where you live.

ilovegordon 6

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:41

If i wasn't funny the first time, it ain't gonna be funny the second time either.

poccocurantes 7

Wednesday 2 January 2013 23:14

that is the first time on my app.

ilovegordon 6

Thursday 3 January 2013 6:56

Well, gee, I wonder why... Maybe because you deleted your comment?

maz95 17

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:37

I hope the thong was clean!

jmelsha11 11

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:37

Somethong must have been really wrong...

mistercrow 9

Thursday 3 January 2013 2:51

Something*

matt98_fml 13

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:40

Since when do people wear thongs in their hair?

Neonemerld 21

Thursday 3 January 2013 7:56

Time to reread the FML. Slowly this time.

FuzzyJack 15

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:42

I'm wondering what people who saw you thought looked more ridiculous, the thong in your hair or the orange skin.

Perfectg 9

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:45

Well it adds up to fashion of 2013 ;)

Cupcake040 17

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:46

Classy

maddymaee 12

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:48

you wore a thong in your hair? /: I wear thongs on my feet...

goodoldave 17

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:53

Hmmm...

SirCharles83 13

Wednesday 2 January 2013 23:37

Flip flops?

LiterOfCola 16

Thursday 3 January 2013 0:12

Thing thongs are great for the beach

iiPluuu 7

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:56

So your daughter didn't mention it at all?

btcrusin 11

Wednesday 2 January 2013 22:58

Spray tan, thong, daughter...classy.

Keywords

Education Parents Public freakouts Mother in law Love Miscellaneous Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Health Cats Jealousy Gross Coworkers Work Drugs Animals Dogs Awkward Fire Cars Money Scams Transportation Bikes Scary Neighbours Intimacy

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If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

Today, the girl I rejected caught me making out with this girl I like. I told her I was straight in order to avoid hurting her feelings instead of telling her I wasn’t attracted to her because she was obese. She loudly called me out for lying and burst into tears, and ran off making me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 720

The Top

Today, I was finishing up my art project that was due the next day. I was really tired and fell asleep on my table. Three hours later, I woke up to find my project torn to bits. I went out and saw my cat vomitting out feathers and other materials I used for my project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 727

You deserved it 8 158

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 002

You deserved it 2 798

Today, I realised I'm so much more sexually attracted to Transformers than anyone I've ever met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 606

Today, I finally mustered up the guts to ask this girl I like to dinner and a movie. She agreed on the terms that she could bring someone, and I'd said it wouldn't be a problem. When I met up with her a few hours later, I found out she'd brought her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 612

You deserved it 6 728

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 185

You deserved it 5 933

Today, I thought it would be cool to take a picture of the guy whose kids I’m babysitting's Tesla and post it on my Instagram, passing it off as mine. I learned to keep my profile private, because the guy found my pic and posted, "Actually that’s my car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 2 294

Same thing different taste

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