Miscellaneous: Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched...

By Mike Polk - 03/10/2011 12:37 - United States

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 184

You deserved it 5 932

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Same thing different taste

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 768

You deserved it 13 803

Freaked

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 686

You deserved it 55 051

By Anonymous - 24/08/2011 06:34 - Canada

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 298

You deserved it 9 554

Avoidance issues

By ProAwkward - 18/06/2013 04:07 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 5 855

By shitbucketsfilledwithshit - 08/10/2015 16:04 - United States - Spring

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 791

You deserved it 18 934

By georgiana072 - 22/09/2009 07:36 - Philippines

Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 618

You deserved it 47 465

By Anonymous - 07/04/2011 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one ringing me from down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 40 074

That Netflix show

By Imnotfromhere - 30/05/2021 08:01

Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 73

By googlefreak54321 - 25/07/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 504

You deserved it 13 585

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 604

You deserved it 2 605

yamatelle 19

Monday 3 October 2011 19:06

As I read through this, I was expecting the stalker to wait for you around the corner. The midgets were completely unexpected.

LardZilla 11

Monday 3 October 2011 18:53

Wow, that's just some bad luck.

Comments

LardZilla 11

Monday 3 October 2011 18:53

Wow, that's just some bad luck.

urdirtyolduncle 15

Monday 3 October 2011 19:12

I guess your idea came up short.

BagleHead 6

Monday 3 October 2011 19:15

If that had happened to me, I would have asked them to join me on my journey.

instnt1nfction 17

Monday 3 October 2011 19:19

12, they are not leprechauns

TheWindowLicker 13

Monday 3 October 2011 19:40

That's funny, 13. I never knew only leprechauns could go on a journey. Guess you learn something new every day!

tylersign 11

Monday 3 October 2011 20:32

That's right 13. Gnomes can go on journeys too. Have you never seen an Expedia commercial?

IronMaiden45 0

Monday 3 October 2011 20:45

ask them to join your journey to fight dragoons and evil wizards you need hobbits to help

NoNotTheFace 8

Monday 3 October 2011 20:53

I swear I replied to the comment below you. Please don't kill me Yamatelle.

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 3 October 2011 22:47

26- No but I've seen Goosebumps!

tjv3 10

Tuesday 4 October 2011 1:15

big deal , should have said "top of tha morning to ya" or asked them if the represent the lollipop guild, then yell I'm off the see the wizard and run off

dre_bro11 12

Tuesday 4 October 2011 14:40

26, and gnomeo and Juliet.

Kiirst_mt1994 26

Thursday 20 October 2011 17:16

O_o

screamingxpanda 5

Monday 3 October 2011 18:54

Should've just explained the story to them.

Lanceeden 12

Monday 3 October 2011 21:37

Midget couple then goes on to adopt her, claiming she's their long lost daughter.

Lanceeden 12

Monday 3 October 2011 21:39

Oh and I only assumed op was a girl since any guy shouldn't act like that. Lol

iBanana 17

Monday 3 October 2011 23:29

Grammar Nazis don't say lol.

Lanceeden 12

Tuesday 4 October 2011 3:45

COOL STORY PISS OFF WANKER

zachherbert 10

Tuesday 4 October 2011 4:21

Haha laugh out loud. Oh my god this made me roll on floor laughing. Oh wait be right back. Talk to you later.

iBanana 17

Tuesday 4 October 2011 4:59

78- Too far bro, too far..

Omfgitsmia 15

Monday 3 October 2011 18:54

Lmao it'd be funnier if one of them punched you, but that does suck.

Freeze_fml 16

Monday 3 October 2011 18:55

Someone's paranoid.

m0tl3ycru3 0

Monday 3 October 2011 22:54

Yea maybe op left their phone somewhere and the guy was trying to give it back to you.

picklezz123 5

Monday 3 October 2011 18:56

at least you got rid if the stalker!

sheethapins 13

Tuesday 4 October 2011 3:56

You assume much. I found him.

bubblekitty 1

Monday 3 October 2011 18:57

You should of just told that dude to leave you alone instead of going though all the trouble of hiding from him. If he wouldn't of stopped you could of taken that to the police.

ronton 4

Monday 3 October 2011 18:58

Should HAVE; could HAVE

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 3 October 2011 22:49

7- From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

ipodlover1995 0

Tuesday 4 October 2011 0:22

Thank you, captain hindsight.

NoNotTheFace 8

Monday 3 October 2011 19:02

You've angered them, you fool. You're lucky one didn't sit on top of the other and punch you in the neck. Not the face.

MaddyHatter 8

Monday 3 October 2011 22:01

ooooooooor, they could both take one leg and start biting your ankles.

yamatelle 19

Monday 3 October 2011 19:06

As I read through this, I was expecting the stalker to wait for you around the corner. The midgets were completely unexpected.

NoNotTheFace 8

Monday 3 October 2011 19:14

They are real people to who? They are real people to my uncle? No. He stands firm on the fact that midgets are the friends of Peter Pan. Delusional fellow.

NoNotTheFace 8

Monday 3 October 2011 20:55

I swear I replied to the comment below you. Please don't kill me Yamatelle.

ikickgingers 15

Monday 3 October 2011 20:58

Midgets legit scare me. Idk why... I generally run the other way as fast as possible. :/

yamatelle 19

Monday 3 October 2011 21:03

NoNotTheFace- Don't worry I won't kill you, but I might have to rape you. If you scream, I shall super glue your eyes shut and chop off your boobs. ;)

HatefulPilot 0

Monday 3 October 2011 21:09

110 mph and no seatbelt? Are joo crazy? I go 160 with no seatbelt, but I'm usually 500 feet up ;)

NoNotTheFace 8

Monday 3 October 2011 21:13

Rape me? Fine. But you gotta buy me dinner first. (Taco Bell, perhaps) Then we shall go to your basement and I'll be the nine year old and you shall be the priest from the near-by church.

yamatelle 19

Monday 3 October 2011 21:30

Fair enough. Not to worry though, I won't do it on your face, I prefer ****. ikick if you were on a game adventure, the last thing or "boss" you'd be facing will be a midget. Mine would be a clown. I ******* hate those things.