Animals: Stuck

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 348

You deserved it 5 231

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By valene5687 - 27/01/2016 05:20 - United States - Gretna

Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 392

You deserved it 5 447

Break in

By GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 671

You deserved it 9 988

Nice try

By groundedasfuck - 24/05/2014 20:24 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 102

You deserved it 55 165

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 193

You deserved it 43 434

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:00 - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 302

You deserved it 5 738

By TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 614

You deserved it 32 603

By Sparks - 13/03/2011 07:39 - United States

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 14 979

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 207

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 290

Crime scene

By xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 2 155

jlaine910 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 19:23

you should hide a spare key outside your house. on the bright side, if anyone breaks into your house, you know they won't have a good time doing it...

nonconscious 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 19:31

Your dog doesn't need to see your face to know it's you.

Comments

bittersweets 2

Friday 11 December 2009 0:29

Yeah, right, because your dog knows that people with hoods are burglars...

cals 0

Friday 11 December 2009 2:22

i was also going to say this.

shortcakecate 0

Friday 11 December 2009 0:41

everyone is talking bout how the dog attacked u.. but how are you typing with a broken wrist??

Ascaryrobot 0

Friday 11 December 2009 0:59

People have two hands you ******* moron.

jikanganai 0

Friday 11 December 2009 0:49

Everyone is so quick to call BS, but it's NOT necessarily true that the dog would automatically know who he is. My dog has poor eyesight and, for some inexplicable reason, a grudge against hats. She will FLIP OUT if someone comes into the house wearing a hat, even if it's me or my brother (and she knows both of us by smell). Once a dog is in "attack mode" it can take a while for it to calm down. This FML is perfectly plausible.

St0rm11 0

Saturday 12 December 2009 7:33

very correct. My dog was the same.

shortcakecate 0

Friday 11 December 2009 0:53

but like i said.. everyone is worrying over the dog.. what about having a broken wrist!

GriefBacon 0

Friday 11 December 2009 1:36

Ravage, huh? I believe dogs can smell people.

cals 0

Friday 11 December 2009 2:20

I was gonna say the same thing. broken dog.

cals 0

Friday 11 December 2009 2:24

i've had a broken wrist before. it doesn't effect the fingers.

immastarr 0

Friday 11 December 2009 3:08

you do realize that all you needed to do was SAY SOMETHING so that your dog recognizes your voice, he then wouldnt "ravage" you. YDI for not having your keys though.