Sex and Intimacy: Strange terminology

Strange terminology

By Not true - 18/07/2016 02:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 422

You deserved it 1 763

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Same thing different taste

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 103

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 867

You deserved it 37 443

By foreseeingabreakup - 06/09/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 305

You deserved it 7 015

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 321

You deserved it 34 484

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 290

You deserved it 10 505

By No O-face - 18/01/2011 03:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 843

You deserved it 6 441

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 04:09 - United States - Aston

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 634

You deserved it 5 647

By marsbar - 15/03/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 726

You deserved it 20 095

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 395

You deserved it 19 263

It's not you, it's him

By Anonymous - 02/10/2021 23:01 - Italy - Benevento

Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 267

mylonius 19

Monday 18 July 2016 22:26

Was he expecting a hand to appear down there?

almost_there44 26

Monday 18 July 2016 22:27

Tell your boyfriend that he has a very small dick after he slips out for the fourth time.

Comments

Blue24U 2

Tuesday 2 August 2016 13:41

Not tight enough is guy code for small ween. Perhaps he should see about penis enlargement.

Framptonm 3

Thursday 11 August 2016 7:36

Could be he's...um...not very "big"?

ATPR_4 9

Wednesday 17 August 2016 1:45

Maybe your ****** likes the bigger, finer things in life.. And your boyfriend just isn't either of them.

ohmannotagain 3

Saturday 3 September 2016 18:59

Hes slipping out because he has a small dick...... your ****** has nothing to do with it...

R3TR0ACTIC 4

Wednesday 14 September 2016 5:21

That has happened to me. The slipping out part

justinb97 16

Sunday 18 September 2016 21:51

You should make him watch the movie "teeth". Then he'd be grateful your vag doesn't latch onto him

mpults 2

Wednesday 23 November 2016 5:03

you can order vaginal tightening cream from pure romance

The Duer 4

Sunday 9 April 2017 6:52

At least you know that he can pull out.

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Friends Miscellaneous Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

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I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 1 295

Today, I found out I have syphilis. I only slept with one person in my entire life, my boyfriend of 2 years. When I told him about it, he burst into tears and said, "It was one time at a company party" and "Maybe if you put some Vagisil or something, it will go away." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 137

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I agree, your life sucks 12 527

You deserved it 37 433

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I agree, your life sucks 8 260

You deserved it 30 209

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I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 129

Today, and for the third time this week, my bank manager called me to tell me that my account is still overdrawn. He doesn't seem to understand that my wages always get paid at the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 054

You deserved it 5 141

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 569

You deserved it 9 194

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I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 120

Strange terminology

Same thing different taste

Wet noodle

It's not you, it's him

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