Shopping, Farts and Health: Stealth

Stealth

By smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 131

You deserved it 3 848

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Same thing different taste

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 041

You deserved it 3 411

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1 375

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 129

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 567

You deserved it 41 808

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 157

You deserved it 3 831

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 756

You deserved it 6 674

By Anonymous - 27/10/2009 10:28 - United Kingdom

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 614

You deserved it 2 938

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 01:52 - United States

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 689

You deserved it 7 899

By whipplewhip - 30/06/2013 04:21 - United States

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 438

You deserved it 3 612

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 515

You deserved it 13 273

thecuriouskat 20

Sunday 2 November 2014 17:46

Honestly, would it have been that hard to say "Excuse me sir, but would you please move?"

kinky44 28

Sunday 2 November 2014 17:52

Behavior like that just blows me away.

Comments

yellowturtles16 7

Sunday 2 November 2014 21:20

You should have just said excuse me...

potatoe_barf 13

Sunday 2 November 2014 21:45

This sounds like one of the situations where the store should sell the patches that make your farts smell like mint.

Parvati48 15

Sunday 2 November 2014 22:14

Wow really asshole...sorry about that op, I might have punched him. :/

aliciavanham 13

Sunday 2 November 2014 22:26

You should've grabbed that deodorant and spraid it all over that guy!

kaceyma 5

Sunday 2 November 2014 22:41

well that stinks

sayyestothedress 24

Sunday 2 November 2014 22:47

What a dick

purepumpkin 12

Monday 3 November 2014 1:36

YDI. This is why you use your words. Say excuse me and maybe, he would've moved.

Maycontainnuts 17

Monday 3 November 2014 2:38

Those saying he's a dick; he probably didn't fart on purpose, he might not have realised she was there. Sounds like he didn't fess up buy he may have been embarrassed and assumed she hadn't heared his wifes assumption so he let a random stranger take the fall. We've all done it.