Sounds like a catch

By Anonymous - 10/08/2020 08:06

Today, my psycho ex tried to call the cops on me for "poisoning her food." I live two hours away from her, and have no money or gas to go anywhere near her. Turns out, she poisoned herself for eating raw chicken and pizza dough. I have a child with this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 737

You deserved it 341

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 18:32 - Lithuania - Prienai

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 737

You deserved it 3 993

Healthy parenting skills

By Ghost1986 - 10/12/2022 22:00 - Australia - Moonah

Today, my ex-wife tried to hit me up for money for a skip bin, because the kids' room was too messy. She then sent me a picture of the mess after I said no, then I retaliated by submitting a report to child services against her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 537

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 728

You deserved it 1 652

By u wot? - 14/02/2015 12:14 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 458

You deserved it 2 331

Am I really the asshole here?

By What did she expect? - 07/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for throwing away her food, calling me a sick, controlling psycho. When I pointed out that the seafood pasta I tossed was a week old and almost certainly rotten, she dug the box out of the trash and ate it to prove a point. Now she's got food poisoning and somehow it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 88

Give me a break

By anon - 18/02/2023 06:00

Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 01:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 023

You deserved it 2 742

By Lauren Smith - 17/10/2010 16:52 - United States

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 339

You deserved it 6 177

Call the cops

By Anonymous - 16/10/2023 09:00

Today, my ex friend turned half the school against me, saying I stole and damaged her phone, both lies. Things escalated and she threatened to jump me if I didn't apologize. I apologized but now she's making me pay money for something I didn't do, and I'm seriously considering a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 151

By georgiaswish - 20/11/2013 20:05 - United Kingdom

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 020

You deserved it 3 829

Mathalamus 24

Monday 10 August 2020 10:26

Hopefully the child is with you.

TCRII 29

Monday 10 August 2020 13:46

Mine said I had poisoned the well water. We did not have a well.

Comments

Mathalamus 24

Monday 10 August 2020 10:26

Hopefully the child is with you.

TCRII 29

Monday 10 August 2020 13:46

Mine said I had poisoned the well water. We did not have a well.

John Nemeth 14

Monday 10 August 2020 17:42

Did she actually call the cops on you? I’m wondering if she would get in trouble for making such a blatant claim against you. I wouldn’t even doubt it if she’s done this kind of crap before or would do it again.

genuinegoodguy 9

Monday 10 August 2020 23:40

Why do you have a child with her?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Wednesday 12 August 2020 3:18

The child is your fault too. Should have used protection. But still, that is one psycho ex you've got. Sounds like you dodged a bullet with her. I hope you're the one that has custody of the kid.