Love: Simp

Simp

By Anonymous - 23/06/2010 23:06 - United States

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 434

You deserved it 39 522

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By 1fungi - 07/12/2010 05:25

Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 007

You deserved it 5 435

By holla1787 - 04/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 538

You deserved it 2 819

Inappropriate crush

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 17:00

Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 351

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 163

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 537

You deserved it 2 916

By TheAngryBird - 28/06/2012 04:51 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 407

You deserved it 2 708

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 273

You deserved it 18 560

By bbns - 14/01/2009 11:57 - Germany

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 2 797

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 107

You deserved it 4 237

By cdick - 11/03/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 195

You deserved it 5 434

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:05

Crash the party and get that shit baaaack, brosky. The rum, I mean, not the girl.

samanthadude 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:06

If she isn't interested there isn't much you can do. The faster you move on, the faster you'll find a girl who loves you just as much as you love her. :]

Comments

07cowboy07 1

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:42

that ****!

BrownSugar_fml 5

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:42

Why are you buying her alcohol if you won't be around once she's drunk?! Geeebus

sk8r_boiii 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:47

duuuuuuddde yyyy. did u do that ,, girls will screw u like that , the idea is ****** , but trust me they will

SubjectX 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:47

ydi because you just let her take it. you need to stop being a pussy and find a new girl, or you will be friend zoned forever.

pardonski 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:50

lol..."rum" tee hee

Eniiaffection 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 10:10

Lol make sure she doesn't have a boyfriend next time maybe? (: just a suggestion OP

meneedlove 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 10:14

OP is a loser. Trust me.

NickTM 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 10:30

YDI, moron!

lickmyjock 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 10:32

So true. And impressing your "love" with a bottle of rum? lol wow... This man got played and it's hilarious. My ex once gave me a jug of rum. What did I do with it? I drank it and hit on her hot sister.