Awkward, Airplanes and Intimacy: Security check

Security check

By Kammy - 01/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no liquids rule. They took out a bottle of massage oil, lube, Vagisil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 858

You deserved it 70 544

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Same thing different taste

Jamaica? I hardly know her

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 335

You deserved it 2 461

By Pissy - 27/11/2016 20:15

Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 371

You deserved it 1 045

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 15:21 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 338

You deserved it 6 823

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 571

You deserved it 49 759

Mom Jokes FTW

By Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 339

You deserved it 357

By notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 533

You deserved it 6 384

By Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 266

You deserved it 11 619

By ohgodwhy - 10/05/2019 12:00

Today, me, my boyfriend and his family stayed at an AirBnB while on a trip. While I was doing my makeup, my boyfriend told me he was going to take a shower. A few minutes later, I went in the bathroom to shave my legs thinking my boyfriend was in there, but his dad was in the shower, scrubbing his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 606

Enjoy yourself, I guess

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 01:00 - Spain - Las Palmas

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 625

You deserved it 1 294

Thanks, son

By sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 349

You deserved it 6 372

RawrSpoon 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:35

How do you forget about the no liquids rule? Last time I was in an airport, they have a sign reminding you every twenty feet or so.

oneangredwarf 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:38

why would you put that stuff in your carry on?

Comments

Samael_fml 0

Monday 2 March 2009 4:11

@ 2, 5, & 9, do you people not fly or something? People normally carry on luggage that they don’t intend to use during the flight.

Linkshot 0

Monday 2 March 2009 4:46

Ouch. How long have you been dating?

yay_fml 0

Monday 2 March 2009 4:56

First, how could you forget? It's always on the news, travel sites are covered in reminders, there are signs all over the airport, it's even in the movies now. Also, I understand bringing stuff you don't necessarily need in your carry on, but come on. If you are traveling with sex stuff, wouldn't you rather it be in your checked luggage, so you don't have to think about what the checkers think when they see it, or have it in your carryon, where you are face to face with the person going through your stuff. I just think this situation is utterly ridiculous and you completely deserved it.

buxtehude_fml 0

Monday 2 March 2009 5:01

Some of those would have been better in your checked luggage. But serously...why be embarassed? If they're taking you on a "tropical vacation" than they're pretty much expecting you to have sex. It's not as if they found anything kinky.

genius_man16 0

Monday 29 June 2009 15:52

That's what I thought. Unless his parents are complete idiots or something, they are probably expecting nothing less than a lot of raunchy, steamy sex from you and your bf

ifeedhobos 0

Monday 2 March 2009 5:05

were you planning on getting jiggy in the plane washroom? hope your man isn't claustrophobic.

CaptainCrunch_fml 0

Monday 2 March 2009 5:16

I don't think this one is real. If you're going on a "family" trip with your BOYFRIEND'S family, when did you think you'd have time to be doing it? Also, if you actually found that opportunity, ...you have vagisil...yeast infection? Can't imagine that sex would be very fun with that... And Nair isn't a big deal.

r83839 22

Sunday 7 August 2016 23:31

Vagisil sells a feminine wash. I assumed that's what OP meant.

countrygal926 0

Monday 2 March 2009 5:20

To be fair, not every person uses the carry on bag for only traveling, i used a bag i usually use durin school and forgot that there were some fragrances at the bottom of the bag. No big deal, yes the contents are embarrassing but not totally her fault.