Secret life

By FroggyGirl888 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 261
You deserved it 3 351
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Top comments

catharsis5 9

I love how you turned something negative into a positive

177 3

Comments

enonymous 8

I didn't know you were Tom Cruise?!?

44 3
ariannaimelda 7

Normally those three things don't all go together, but then again...

11 3
EpicPear 0

What got them to think that? I'm gonna take a guess and say that you told them you were atheist, and now they are making random assumptions about you. That's what what everybody did to me. But whatever, :)

20 7
markrs 0

Only devil worshiping lesbian alcoholics have fascinating lives

40 2
csickcman 11

Just thank the lucky stars you're not a vampire.

19 2
DropBearHunter 8

Only in America.....

11 4
iEthan 5

When she shops for groceries. Get a empty beer bottle, a wegii (idk how to spell it) board and some really high boots. Rub the bottle against your cheek, set the board on the ground and wear those boots and she'll have her worst nighmare when she comes home to that.

3 10
rallets 22

no, some of us know how to spell ouija

16 1
dre_bro11 12

iEthan, how bout you pay her a visit... That'd be a shock enough.

5 1
ShyAnn29 14

No I didn't google that, I just know how ouija is spelled

6 2
ohxdamnxkay02 12

look on the bright side, at least your roommate thinks something of you (:

3 1
pinkp909 8

That should make life interesting from now on.

56 1
NabbdjuretPerry 0

When my mother went into the wall, she screamed cucumber!

5 7
foodlord 5

U shud go up to them drinking beer and wearing devil horns and try 2 kiss 1 of da girls

7 17
False_Stupidity 41

#35... It's You, Should, Two, One & The... But udda thn dat, I agree wit yo...

10 1
foodlord 5

71, it's Other, than, that, with and you

6 2
SonOfAMitch 14

'Whoosh!' went the sarcastic comment, as it flew over foodlord's head.

7 1
FYLDeep 25

With those kind of qualities why wouldn't your life be fascinating? Er, that's what you meant, right?

13 33
catharsis5 9

I love how you turned something negative into a positive

177 3
iam_yummylicious 12

How can being a devil-worshiping lesbian alcoholic not be a positive?

10 0
supimnyancat 9

You should make it awkward for them and walk in and say "what are you guys talking about?"

71 3
SilentTreatment 7

The question is, WHO is she talking to if your presence is "absent"??? Sounds like she has issues....

2 38
DontModMeDammit 10

Roommates.."s"..plural.... ....

25 0
FrankHotpants 31

If there's some interesting people out there it's got to be those Satanic drunken lesbians.

84 1