Weird, Roommate and LGBTQIA+: Secret life - FML

Secret life

By FroggyGirl888 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 261

You deserved it 3 351

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Top comments

catharsis5 9

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:39

I love how you turned something negative into a positive

HeavyScout 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:37

Very fascinating indeed!

Comments

Sadist86 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 18:28

Theres nothing wrong with any of that.

kodinbug 2

Wednesday 12 October 2011 18:31

Haha now really scary them and act like the things they said!

jpallan 3

Wednesday 12 October 2011 20:12

I assume you've already figured out that you can use this immensely to your advantage. Enjoy.

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 12 October 2011 20:33

Let 'em run with it...My roommates think I get laid by a different girl everynight...Little do they know that I spend most of my time at the late night coffee shop, posting on FML...

neonsugarXx 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 20:56

I would walk in and say that xD (that makes my life fascinating, doesn't it?) lol..

bigantennaemay 3

Wednesday 12 October 2011 21:19

They're just jealous that you're so interesting and they're so not.

trskln 1

Wednesday 12 October 2011 21:58

You sound really hot.....

kmcshouse 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 23:18

Lol I'd start walking around with crosses on my neck and blessing everything then bring a shit ton of dudes home. Do exactly the opposite of what your roommates are saying to the extreme.

Stylin_Since_97 10

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:22

Ginger? Or do you live with jerks?

captainbj2 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 1:54

Ginger? What was that? The Ginger insults are old and are looked upon as stupid now...don't go there or everyone will just think you are lame. Just a tip:)

Stylin_Since_97 10

Friday 14 October 2011 1:06

Thanks for the advice bromo sapien. I'll remember that next time I make a comment that' NOT INTENDED TO BE COMMENTED ON BY HIPSTERS LIKE YOU!

ahiddengoddess 9

Thursday 13 October 2011 2:24

Now you should use your devil worshiping skills and curse their souls.

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The Top

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before, but they usually leave early. I heard someone in the kitchen and, thinking it was my brother, I said, "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma then responded, "No, we're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 496

You deserved it 74 251

Today. I realized my dad is a little bit too rock n roll when he got into a pushing and shoving match with a married couple, who was making comments about how my dad’s leather jacket and ripped jeans weren’t “appropriate.” To be fair, they started it, but this was a parent night at a high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 68

The Top

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 947

You deserved it 1 869

Today, for our third date, we watched a romantic movie at my house. The sex scene got me all hot and bothered, so I started holding his hand, massaging his thigh, and even fondling his dick, but when I turned to pounce on him right then and there, the bastard was asleep from boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 427

Today, I was creeping on an old coworker's Facebook and noticed they'd tagged my face in an old group photo as another girl. According to the comments, the girl they'd tagged me as thought it was her too. I worked there for two years and nobody mentioned the mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 303

You deserved it 5 639

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 895

You deserved it 71 423

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 870

You deserved it 3 585

Today, my girlfriend of two years took offense to a "That's what she said joke", and blew up, saying she doesn't like those jokes. She thinks that she is the "She" of the jokes every time I guess. I tried explaining how the jokes work, but she wouldn't believe me. She says that I'm just lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 377