Weird, Parents, Dad jokes and Intimacy: Roll with it

Roll with it

By jonasister - 15/04/2012 18:43 - Sweden - Lund

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 339

You deserved it 3 331

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 00:30 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 155

You deserved it 7 051

By Anonymous - 15/03/2014 21:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 905

You deserved it 11 657

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 759

You deserved it 4 992

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

Supportive

By arch maester shavayalsharashion - 26/07/2015 17:29 - United Kingdom - Surbiton

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 809

You deserved it 2 930

By Starchyld - 11/11/2009 12:21 - Canada

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 924

You deserved it 4 134

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 693

You deserved it 62 334

Uh... Okay?

By Champion sucker - 11/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 006

You deserved it 1 820

By peaaaak - 03/06/2011 10:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 199

You deserved it 5 051

By hateskool888581 - 12/01/2010 00:28 - Mexico

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 914

You deserved it 2 347

ambrown101 4

Monday 16 April 2012 3:18

That'll make for an awkward ride home.

perdix 29

Monday 16 April 2012 3:21

Maybe after a few more beers, the joke would be on you. Or in you.

Comments

Vert90 11

Monday 16 April 2012 4:12

Incest is wincest!

BVBarmyForever 0

Monday 16 April 2012 4:27

That's just .. Disturbing and gross.

NiCeGuY115 14

Monday 16 April 2012 4:34

Confidence boost or not that's pretty disturbing. Should bring up interesting conversation once he finds out you know what he was doing...

suprit246 2

Monday 16 April 2012 4:37

Ouch that's disturbing!!

lookingforlovee 0

Monday 16 April 2012 4:39

No shit captain obvious.

lookingforlovee 0

Monday 16 April 2012 4:39

No shit..

hellbilly205 17

Monday 16 April 2012 4:44

No vert90 incest is not wincest, it is ****** up.

impress69 6

Monday 16 April 2012 4:46

Oh gross!

Alovestoryy1996 0

Monday 16 April 2012 4:49

How sick... =

notjustanybody20 9

Monday 16 April 2012 4:54

irrespective of how upset/worthless he felt about his blind date going bad..what he did is extremely disrespectful and disgusting. You just cant use your daughter to regain your self esteem among friends. thats totally unacceptable! i feel really bad for you op!

Troll_spray 6

Monday 16 April 2012 4:54

........

CyberPunkTink 0

Monday 16 April 2012 4:58

My dad would do this sober with no one around. Incest is creepy and isn't wincest. Be lucky he was just playing along and wasnt serious(no offense). So be lucky OP