Intimacy: Proof

Proof

By misoranomegami - 21/06/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 763

You deserved it 16 353

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By bottomdrawerraider - 17/11/2010 17:13 - United States

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 050

You deserved it 12 196

Spyware

By Anonymous - 26/06/2009 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 813

You deserved it 10 929

Alone time

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 14:00

Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 324

By djoe - 28/10/2010 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 882

You deserved it 6 314

By Heather - 26/06/2012 17:13 - United States - Newport News

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 495

You deserved it 12 738

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 973

You deserved it 53 781

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 177

You deserved it 2 048

Banned

By Helen - 22/03/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Today, while showing my mum how to make a TikTok, she not only found the masturbation video I made to send to my husband while he’s away for work, she accidentally managed to post it to TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 1 472

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 819

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 394

You deserved it 1 581

Juicenub 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Hopefully the video won't shake things up.

AlwaysWatching 27

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Did your mom not notice that? That would be awkward having a video of your room shown around anyway....

Comments

ELoni_fml 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:51

People will probably only look at the kitten

Juicenub 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:57

Maybe, but they'll probably see the vibrator that the kitten's sitting on too.

Pat_Tricksta 13

Saturday 21 June 2014 16:45

I don't know man, I'm purrty sure I'd be eyeballing that blatant *****

DrownedMyFish 18

Saturday 21 June 2014 18:11

A vibrator is too hard to miss. People will definitely notice.

blazingshot147 19

Saturday 21 June 2014 22:14

#30 I think it would be more concerning that the mom went in her daughter's house without permission.

rylaii 26

Sunday 22 June 2014 0:27

Please learn to read and understand words. Op said her mom went to go check up on the kitten. So clearly op knew she was going over.

AlwaysWatching 27

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Did your mom not notice that? That would be awkward having a video of your room shown around anyway....

Demig0d6 14

Saturday 21 June 2014 20:24

Guess you can say op is not the only pussy attracted to the vibrator... Get it? Anyone? No? Okay :(

JJ_86 22

Sunday 22 June 2014 0:39

I'm pretty sure she noticed that. Why else would she run around showing the video around?

Juicenub 25

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Hopefully the video won't shake things up.

Demig0d6 14

Saturday 21 June 2014 20:26

Or op's ******* have a thing for vibrators

barakados 11

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:53

Pun with the word pussy in it.

hufflepuffle 13

Saturday 21 June 2014 18:22

*Patrick booing*

invadermaythe1st 35

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:54

oh well, everyone does it

Shinybaconplays 17

Sunday 22 June 2014 5:03

Boys dont

RabbitOfAurora 28

Sunday 22 June 2014 15:12

Some boys do.

dawood_k 27

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:56

Shame how sweet. You left out a toy for pussy cat to play with.

LeoChen 7

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:57

Maybe she will put this video on YouTube .LOL

Vagitarian1 10

Saturday 21 June 2014 15:58

Was it still glistening?

Pat_Tricksta 13

Saturday 21 June 2014 16:55

That's ******* gross man

mistertbawk420 10

Saturday 21 June 2014 18:33

What the **** is wrong with you

wolfgold2 20

Saturday 21 June 2014 19:41

I thought it was kind of funny.

Meggston 17

Saturday 21 June 2014 19:58

It wasn't THAT disturbing...

OysterPearls 33

Sunday 22 June 2014 0:20

With the name "Vagitarian1", why am I not surprised?

doctorhook86 24

Sunday 22 June 2014 1:41

#9: Forget the haters, Vagitarian. Your comment was hilarious!

mackdeezy 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 16:00

Either puuuuurrrrrr is the sound the kitten makes.... or the vibrator.

mufasaniqqa 13

Saturday 21 June 2014 22:11

which pussy does it better

Shemp_5 14

Saturday 21 June 2014 16:01

That will be a lovely conversation. "Oh hey mom, you have to stop showing that video around because The cat is playing with my vibrator."

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 86

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

The Top

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 454

You deserved it 9 384

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 716

You deserved it 2 824

Today, I'm sitting in agonizing pain following a scoliosis surgery. I have a bunch of painkillers that I need to suppress the incredible back pain, but looks like I can't take any, because my mom has hidden them from me because she thinks I need to be taken off them. I wish my doctor was here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 023

You deserved it 2 767

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 47 037

You deserved it 5 140

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 819

You deserved it 6 534

Today, my girlfriend's "sheltered" 15-year-old niece is sharing our tiny home. Shortly after she arrived, I started to pass a kidney stone. I've had 3 hours of vomiting and cold-sweating while pissing acidic blood and a stone in absolute agony. The niece is "traumatized". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 967

You deserved it 627

Proof

Same thing different taste

Spyware

Alone time

Banned

How very dare you?

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