Intimacy: Perv

Perv

By Anonymous - 05/11/2015 01:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to convince my nine year-old brother to stop using my biology textbook as a masturbatory aid so I could actually get some studying done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 521

You deserved it 1 977

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 515

You deserved it 64 304

By wow - 28/11/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 914

You deserved it 2 068

By Anonymous - 23/08/2016 08:38

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 196

You deserved it 2 901

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 03:54 - Canada - Montréal

Today, my 19 year-old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 728

You deserved it 2 183

By imsorrytimmy - 02/04/2009 15:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 949

You deserved it 114 215

Noob

By facepalming all the way - 19/07/2015 06:02 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 729

You deserved it 2 342

By Anonymous - 04/07/2013 16:27 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 044

You deserved it 4 908

They're indoctrinating our children… with pranks!

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 23:37 - United States

Today, my eight year-old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mindfucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 469

You deserved it 3 935

By Anonymous - 31/01/2012 05:16 - United States

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 712

You deserved it 3 034

By latter - 24/09/2013 00:05 - United States - Middle River

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 309

You deserved it 3 304

Maguru 17

Thursday 5 November 2015 10:31

A little too early to be introduced to bookkake isn't he?! In all seriousness though that's concerning. I hope your parents will intervene because it sounds like he needs the talk and another about personal belongings. .-.

alphafish17 16

Thursday 5 November 2015 10:33

Hey some people are really in to cell division!

Comments

singlwforlife 22

Thursday 5 November 2015 11:08

Biology books must have gotten much more interesting since I left high school!

darwinism 30

Thursday 5 November 2015 11:16

Practical sessions are as important as theoretical knowledge. Juat don't let him use any chemistry textbooks OP.

doodlecloud 26

Thursday 5 November 2015 13:37

He actually likes those creepy starey biology diagrams? Geez you could probably just draw him a picture of a naked person yourself and it would be sexier. Would get your book back too.

Kingsz 7

Friday 22 January 2016 5:34

He's 9. I'm sure anything that looks like the female anatomy would get him off if he's never seen it before.

AbortionSurvivor 13

Thursday 5 November 2015 14:12

Why is a nine year old masturbating? When I was nine I was playing with hot wheels cars and watching cartoons However, now that I'm 28 I can safely say it's become a hobby

warrenhoward42 20

Thursday 5 November 2015 14:21

what the actual ****?

redheadedmonster 24

Thursday 5 November 2015 14:47

OP sorry your brother is a turd. Hopefully you finally got some studying done. Also this isn't that uncommon for boys to be masturbating at 9 since boys can start puberty as early as 9. Just ask your parents to have "the talk" with him OP. Hopefully that way it can be taken care of properly.