Sleep, Accident and Health: Panic!

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 110

You deserved it 3 809

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Same thing different taste

By jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 800

You deserved it 11 004

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 931

You deserved it 12 963

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 665

You deserved it 40 125

By Ringo McDingo - 26/03/2012 04:31 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 227

You deserved it 2 198

By Anonymous - 09/08/2018 20:30

Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 688

You deserved it 3 363

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 936

You deserved it 3 983

By Mary - 05/03/2019 18:00

Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 042

You deserved it 1 390

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 987

You deserved it 4 469

By Sick - 24/02/2009 20:34 - Canada

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 670

You deserved it 6 167

Less haste, more speed

By D J's MOM - 18/09/2023 20:00

Today, at 11 p.m., after getting up for work at 4:45 a.m., I ran up the stairs to go feed my cat. I slipped on something, missed the handrail, then fell down and cracked my head on the tile floor. My hairclip was dead center, so I then had a fun night in the ER while my dang head wouldn't stop bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 108

asspole 16

Monday 20 July 2015 12:41

Do lips bleed that much?

udderbutter 15

Monday 20 July 2015 12:42

At least it wasnt something worse

Comments

karcummings 19

Monday 20 July 2015 12:55

lips fight back!

odamaliekh 26

Monday 20 July 2015 13:04

But did they though?

mswhatever 18

Monday 20 July 2015 18:58

14 You've commented a couple times and they keep getting down voted. Please stop.

p36288 17

Monday 20 July 2015 13:34

I can feel your pain

vikky538 28

Monday 20 July 2015 14:14

Good luck explaining that situation at work...

chuchusheep 19

Monday 20 July 2015 14:33

nothing like a good face bleed in the morning. sorry, OP...that really sucks.

val_is_lame97 12

Monday 20 July 2015 15:07

Damn, what the **** were you dreaming about that you bit your lip?

klutz44 28

Monday 20 July 2015 17:29

Christian Grey

Fish_gills 12

Monday 20 July 2015 15:47

Sounds like some pretty intense dreamin' OP! Hope you had a bit of fun before the whole face floor thing happened

worldclassrager 39

Monday 20 July 2015 16:12

Blood toil tears and breakage......eh good enough

1stones 8

Monday 20 July 2015 16:48

How hard did you have to bite your lip to find a "pool" of blood lol did you drown on your blood after breaking your nose too?

Krwman 8

Monday 20 July 2015 17:40

Ma'am. You probably look like a victim of abuse. Prepare to have people disbelieve your story.

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 20 July 2015 17:45

Get shorter pj pants.

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The Top

Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 362

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 273

You deserved it 14 939

The Top

Today, I learned that some days you win, and some days you clean up skunk carcass with a snow shovel in the rain in formerly waterproof boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 080

You deserved it 301

Today, I tried whitening my teeth with an off-brand product. It didn't whiten my teeth, but it did burn parts of my gums off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 309

You deserved it 7 688

Today, my friend was telling me about her issues with her boyfriend, and I said, "Damn, that sounds just like a couple I know!" She asked me who, which is when I realised I was actually thinking about Davide and Ekin-Su on Love Island. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 782

Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me a liar because my dancing was, “too good for a French girl.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 59

Today, my boyfriend had an appointment he had to wait months for, after he finally agreed to try to figure out what's making him so tired all the time. He slept through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 95

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 838

You deserved it 59 878