Painful and Health: Ouch - FML

Ouch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I took out my ear cartilage piercing. With my comb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 498

You deserved it 10 310

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The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 038

You deserved it 823

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 428

You deserved it 2 179

New nickname just dropped

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Midland

Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 774

You deserved it 1 043

This is a low

By Stella - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 354

You deserved it 28 771

Time to go wireless

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing, and cut through the headphone wire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 351

You deserved it 3 462

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 896

You deserved it 61 514

There's no justice

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 864

You deserved it 2 615

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 850

You deserved it 4 710

Hand me downs

By Marcipaud - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 157

You deserved it 1 056

Puffy

By blow me - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Vermont

Today, I bought some pricey lipstick for a date tonight. An hour after putting it on, my lips are so swollen, I look like a blow-up sex doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 233

You deserved it 3 494

Next

Top comments

salmendoza9 0

Friday 17 December 2010 16:03

ouch!!!

perdix 29

Friday 17 December 2010 16:57

If my ass-hair were long, I wouldn't brush it -- I'd get it shaved or waxed off. Not so much for the vanity, but to combat the dingleberry plague. I guess I'd miss the cushioning when I sit down, though ;(

Comments

Ketchup_Castle 30

Monday 5 September 2011 4:30

This happened to me when I was a kid.

krazy_guera23 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 6:09

I swear this happens every morning to me. But i have two. I feel your pain.

tannerianian 11

Sunday 11 December 2011 22:36

Keep it out. Clean it with 1/4th teaspoon of sea salt and a cup of water twice a day. NO hydrogen pry oxide. Hope this helps

Coffeebang 17

Friday 10 February 2012 12:02

Ouch

TrippingOnAcid 29

Friday 27 April 2012 19:16

Ouch, I know for a fact that that hurts like a bitch

Missy612 14

Thursday 24 May 2012 5:09

HOLY **** THAT MUSTA HURT!!!

jessicachapo 1

Monday 10 September 2012 4:20

omg that hurts ive done that not once but twice

thecreepypotato 0

Tuesday 26 February 2013 4:29

I just got an ear cartilage piercing... Ouch man, FYL

brennaaa13 11

Sunday 7 July 2013 18:41

That mess hurts.

Julesie 9

Friday 8 November 2013 5:56

I know your pain..... I've been scared to comb my hair since I got mine. (Yes I still do comb it xD)

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The Top

Today, after 5 years of dating and not even so much as a hint of a ring on the horizon, I asked my boyfriend why he hasn’t proposed yet. His response was “Babe, I’m not gonna pay for the cow when I get the milk for free.” What does that even mean? FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 476

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, I had eye surgery to try and stop the progression of my eye disease. Being conscious for the surgery, I was given numbing drops before we began. My doctor started cutting my cornea before the drops took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 421

You deserved it 123

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 024

You deserved it 34 848

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 282

You deserved it 22 350

Today, my relationship with my sister-in-law has never been the greatest, so I've been trying to improve it. Any progress I may have made was destroyed when I accidentally slammed a car door shut with her hand in it. Good news: Her hand is not broken. Bad news: She absolutely refuses to believe it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 96

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 343

You deserved it 4 608

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 3 570