Sex and Intimacy: Oh yessss

Oh yessss

By Anonymous - 29/07/2011 07:24 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 767

You deserved it 10 724

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Same thing different taste

By troubleintoyland - 24/12/2010 03:03 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 9 553

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 397

You deserved it 26 442

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 617

You deserved it 4 101

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 468

You deserved it 6 136

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 009

You deserved it 4 378

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 540

You deserved it 4 560

By fungettingdressed - 12/10/2010 12:57 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 922

You deserved it 9 079

By staciedee - 01/06/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 166

You deserved it 4 949

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 387

You deserved it 4 229

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 946

You deserved it 6 529

coltsrock37 15

Friday 29 July 2011 16:10

that'll spike up his sex drive

dre_bro11 12

Friday 29 July 2011 16:09

ouch! three-way with the cactus?

Comments

Dat1guy08 0

Friday 29 July 2011 23:22

if I was your boyfriend I would of nuted

whatever222 3

Friday 29 July 2011 23:24

when will you learn to move that cactus?? 1st while your taking a nap now this?

gary8082 14

Friday 29 July 2011 23:24

You both got pricked!

BrooklynGenius 0

Friday 29 July 2011 23:26

who puts a cactus above their face as they sleep?

Jonat_fml 4

Friday 29 July 2011 23:50

at least u wasn't the only thing getting stuck

sexy_geek 5

Saturday 30 July 2011 0:03

bwahaha!!

ohhheyythere91 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 0:08

And that's why you'll never be on top again.

daydreamer244 13

Saturday 30 July 2011 0:38

word of advice for next time, don't keep a cactus around where you're going to hav sex. :)

maddylovesu 5

Saturday 30 July 2011 0:43

how many cacti do you have to make this little one your favorite?

Pam94 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 0:44

oo kinky

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 129

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I agree, your life sucks 53 653

You deserved it 4 934

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 58 450

You deserved it 9 470

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I agree, your life sucks 31 475

You deserved it 6 820

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I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 121

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I agree, your life sucks 295 477

You deserved it 54 119

Today, as I was stretching, I realized my hand can reach all the way up to touch the fan, when it was on, and going full speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 973

You deserved it 3 741

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I agree, your life sucks 36 387

You deserved it 25 960